Expert: Brenda Martin - 10/20/2006

Question
My name is Anne I'm 17 years old, what god thinks about being a lesbian? is it bad?
i always go to church and pray, but I like or I LOVE touching myself (breast, nipples, vagina and butt) is this bad?

please answer me
Anne

Answer
WHAT GOD THINKS ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN? IS IT BAD?

I enclose a bible based article that may help you

Young People Ask . . .Why Do I Have These Feelings?

“I feel like a war is going on inside me. I don’t know where to turn.”—Bob.

MANY youths suffer similar mental torment. Unlike their peers who seem consumed with an interest in the opposite sex, they find themselves increasingly attracted to members of their own sex. For many, this is a devastating realization.

One woman said of her daughter: “She began to fail in health, was unable to eat or sleep, and became depressed and moody. She even attempted suicide.” The major cause of this distress? “She had Lesbian feelings.” For some it may not be easy to overcome such inclinations. “When I was a preteen,” confesses a young man we’ll call Mark, “I began having homosexual encounters with some of my friends. I continued this on into adolescence until I started studying the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses. But sometimes I still had wrong feelings lingering inside me.”

What causes a youth to be attracted to his or her own sex? And what should a youth do if he or she is afflicted with such feelings?

Nature or Nurture?

Nowadays it is popular to say that homosexuals are born that way and that sexual orientation is unchangeable. Time magazine, for example, dramatically announced: “A new study suggests that there is a structural difference between the brains of homosexual and heterosexual men.” However, this study was made on the brains of men who had died of AIDS. Surely this does not prove the point!

Another theory involves hormones. Scientists observed that laboratory rats deprived of male hormones displayed “female” mating behaviors. They concluded that homosexuals may similarly be the victims of a biological mishap—an exposure to too many or too few male hormones before birth. Many scientists believe, though, that the odd behavior among rats is little more than a reflex—not really ‘homosexuality.’ Besides, humans are not rats. The Harvard Medical School Mental Health Letter argues: “It is extremely unlikely that prenatal hormones influence . . . human sexuality in the same direct way they organize reflexes involved in the mating behavior of rats.”

Much attention has also been given to genetic studies. Among homosexual males and females who have identical twins, about half of their twins are likewise homosexual. Since monozygotic [identical] twins are genetic duplicates, it seemed logical to conclude that some mysterious gene caused the deviation. However, note that half the twin siblings were not homosexual. If this trait were really genetically programmed, would not all the twins have it? True, genes and hormones may play some role. Even so, Scientific American reported the findings of some that the evidence “strongly suggests that environment contributes significantly to sexual orientation.”

Environmental Factors

Consider the environment of ancient Greece. Spurred on by the erotic stories about some of their mythological gods, the writings of philosophers such as Plato, and the culture of the gymnasium where youths performed unclad, homosexuality became the rage among the elite in the Greek-speaking world. According to the book Love in Ancient Greece, “it was considered shameful in Crete for a well-born boy not to have a [male] lover.” No mysterious gene or hormone caused such decadence. It flourished because Greek culture permitted, yes, encouraged it! This well illustrates how powerful a role environment can play.

No doubt the flood of pro-homosexual propaganda has done much to spread that viewpoint today. Allusions to homosexuality abound in TV, movies, music, and magazines. Cable television has given some youths easy access to hard-core pornography. Androgynous (unisex) styles of dress and grooming have become chic. Some experts also feel the antimale propaganda promoted by some feminists has contributed to the rise of lesbianism. Youths may also receive exposure to bad influences by association with classmates who openly advocate the homosexual life-style.—1 Corinthians 15:33.

Father and Son

Sometimes, faulty family environment also seems to play a major role, especially among males. A father makes an important contribution to a child’s emotional development. (Ephesians 6:4) The book Making Your Family Life Happy says: “The influence of the father’s masculine qualities can make a vital contribution to the development of a rounded-out, balanced personality.” A boy also needs acknowledgment, love, and approval from his father. (Compare Luke 3:22.) What can result when a father fails to give his child this needed attention? Emotional distress. Mental-health writer Joseph Nicolosi claims that male homosexuality is “almost always the result of problems in family relations, particularly between father and son.”

It may be that a mother unwittingly aggravates the situation by disparaging her husband or by being overly possessive of her son. One study of effeminate boys made this observation: “Some of the parents had wished for a girl instead of a boy and had subtly encouraged their young son to dress as a girl or dressed him that way.”

This is not to say that distorted sexual feelings can automatically be blamed on one’s parents. Many men who have grown up with possessive mothers and negligent, absent, or abusive fathers have still developed masculine personalities. Furthermore, not all with homosexual inclinations necessarily come from dysfunctional families.

It does appear, though, that some boys are wounded in a very specific way. “As a consequence of his early sense of rejection by father . . . ,” claims Dr. Nicolosi, “the homosexual carries a sense of weakness and incompetence with regard to those attributes associated with masculinity, that is, power, assertion, and strength. He is attracted to masculine strength out of an unconscious striving toward his own masculinity.”

A young Christian man named Peter writes: “My father was an alcoholic and regularly beat my mother and, at times, us children. When I was 12 years old, he walked out. I keenly felt the lack of a father. I always longed for someone to fill the void I felt every day. When I finally developed a friendship with a fine Christian man who I thought could fill that need, I began to experience sexual feelings for him.”

Interestingly, significant numbers of homosexuals are victims of childhood molestation. Such molestation can produce lasting physical and emotional damage. For some it may create what one writer called a “distorted sexual identity.” This evidently occurred in ancient Sodom, where young boys manifested a voracious appetite for perverted relations. (Genesis 19:4, 5) Clearly, they were a product of adult exploitation.

The Moral Issue

Scientists may never resolve exactly how much of a role nature and nurture play in same-sex attraction. But one thing is clear: All humans are born with the tendency to succumb to wrong thinking and inclinations.—Romans 3:23.

A youth who desires to please God must therefore conform to His moral standards and shun immoral behavior, though doing so may be agonizingly difficult. True, some individuals may very well be prone to homosexuality, just as some individuals are, according to the Bible, “prone to wrath.” (Titus 1:7) But the Bible still condemns displays of unrighteous anger. (Ephesians 4:31) Similarly, a Christian cannot excuse immoral behavior by saying he was ‘born that way.’ Child molesters invoke the same pathetic excuse when they say their craving for children is “innate.” But can anyone deny that their sexual appetite is perverted? So is the desire for someone of the same sex.

Homosexuality is condemned by God.

I ALWAYS GO TO CHURCH AND PRAY

But its not helping you is it, that’s because the churches are not pleasing God, they do their own thing and make up their own rules as to what is good and bad, and because of this, God has turned his back on the churches. He wants sincere individuals to come out of the churches and worship him correctly. This means studying the bible with one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and getting to know what God requires of all of us. I would be happy to discuss our beliefs with you .

BUT I LIKE OR I LOVE TOUCHING MYSELF (BREAST, NIPPLES, VAGINA AND BUTT) IS THIS BAD??

Yes, but it can be overcome if you want help—

Masturbation—How Serious Is It?

“I’m wondering if masturbation is wrong in the eyes of God. Will it affect my physical and/or mental health in the future and if I ever get married?”—Fifteen-year-old Melissa.

THESE thoughts have plagued many youths. The reason? Masturbation is widespread. Reportedly, some 97 percent of males and more than 90 percent of females have masturbated by the age of 21. Furthermore, this practice has been blamed for all manner of ills—from warts and red eyelids to epilepsy and mental illness.

Twentieth-century medical researchers no longer make such alarming claims. Indeed, doctors today believe that no physical illness is caused by masturbation. Researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson add that “there is no established medical evidence that masturbation, regardless of frequency, leads to mental illness.” Nevertheless, there are other ill effects! And many Christian youths are rightly concerned about the practice. “When I gave in to [masturbation], I’d feel as if I were failing Jehovah God,” wrote one youth. “I got seriously depressed sometimes.”

Just what is masturbation? How serious is it, and why do so many youths find it to be a habit that is hard to break?

Why Youths Are Vulnerable

Masturbation is deliberate self-stimulation to produce sexual arousal. During the bloom of youth, sexual desires become strong. Powerful hormones are released that affect the reproductive organs. A youth thus becomes aware that these organs are capable of producing pleasurable sensations. And sometimes a youth may become sexually excited without even thinking about sex.

For instance, the tensions produced by various worries, fears, or frustrations can affect a boy’s sensitive nervous system and cause sexual arousal. A buildup of semen may in turn cause him to awaken sexually excited. Or it may produce a nocturnal emission, usually accompanied by an erotic dream. Similarly, some young girls may find themselves stimulated unintentionally. Many have a heightened sexual desire just before or after their menstrual period.

So if you have experienced such arousal, there is nothing wrong with you. This is a normal response of a youthful body. Such sensations, even if very intense, are not the same as masturbation, since they are largely involuntary. And as you grow older, the intensity of these new sensations will subside.

***Curiosity and the novelty of these new sensations, though, lead some youths deliberately to manipulate, or play with, their sexual organs.

‘Mental Fuel’

The Bible describes a young man who meets a promiscuous woman. She kisses him and says: “Do come, . . . let us enjoy each other with love expressions.” Then what happens? “All of a sudden he is going after her, like a bull that comes even to the slaughter.” (Proverbs 7:7-22) Obviously, this youth’s passions were aroused not simply because his hormones were at work but because of what he saw and heard.

Similarly, one young man admits: ‘The root of my whole problem with masturbation boiled down to what I put in my mind. I would watch TV programs that included immorality and in some cases watch programs on cable TV that would show nudity. Such scenes are so shocking that they stay with you. They would surface again in my mind, providing the mental fuel needed to engage in masturbation.’

Yes, often it is what one reads, watches, or listens to, as well as what one talks about or meditates on, that triggers masturbation. As one 25-year-old woman confessed: “I just couldn’t seem to stop the habit. However, I used to read romance novels, and this contributed to the problem.”

A “Tranquilizer”

This young woman’s experience reveals what is undoubtedly the greatest reason why the habit can be so hard to break. She continues: “Usually I masturbated to release pressure, tension, or anxiety. That fleeting pleasure was like the drink the alcoholic takes to calm his nerves.”

Researchers Suzanne and Irving Sarnoff write: “For some people masturbation may become a habit to which they turn for solace whenever they are rebuffed or feel apprehensive about something. Others, however, may withdraw in this way only occasionally, when they are under the most acute emotional stress.” Evidently, others similarly resort to the habit when upset, depressed, lonely, or under much stress; it becomes a “tranquilizer” to blot out their troubles.

What Does the Bible Say?

A youth asked: “Is masturbation an unforgivable sin?” Masturbation is not mentioned at all in the Bible. The practice was common in the Greek-speaking world during Bible times, and several Greek words were used to describe the practice. But not one of these words is used in the Bible.

Since masturbation is not directly condemned in the Bible, does this mean it is harmless? Absolutely not! Though it is not classed with such gross sins as fornication, masturbation is surely an unclean habit. (Ephesians 4:19) The principles of God’s Word thus indicate that you “benefit yourself” by strongly resisting this unclean habit.—Isaiah 48:17.

Arousing “Sexual Appetite”

“Deaden, therefore, your body members,” urges the Bible, “as respects . . . sexual appetite.” (Colossians 3:5) “Sexual appetite” refers not to normal sexual feelings but to passion that is out of control. Such “sexual appetite” can thus lead to one’s indulging in gross acts, as described by Paul at Romans 1:26, 27.
But does not masturbation “deaden” these desires? No, on the contrary, as one youth confessed: “When you masturbate, you dwell mentally on wrong desires, and all that does is increase your appetite for them.” Often an immoral fantasy is used to increase the sexual pleasure. (Matthew 5:27, 28) Therefore, given the right circumstances, one could easily fall into immorality. This happened to one youth, who admits: “At one time, I felt that masturbation could relieve frustration without my getting involved with a female. Yet I developed an overpowering desire to do so.” He committed fornication. Not surprisingly, a nationwide study revealed that the majority of adolescents who masturbated were also committing fornication. They outnumbered those who were virgins by 50 percent!

Mentally and Emotionally Defiling

Masturbation also instills certain attitudes that are mentally corrupting. (Compare 2 Corinthians 11:3.) When masturbating, a person is immersed in his or her own bodily sensations—totally self-centered. Sex becomes separated from love and is relegated to a reflex that releases tension. But God intended that sexual desires be satisfied in sexual relations—an expression of love between a man and his wife.—Proverbs 5:15-19
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A masturbator may also tend to view the opposite sex as mere sex objects—tools for sexual satisfaction. Wrong attitudes taught by masturbation thus defile one’s “spirit,” or dominant mental inclination. In some cases, the problems caused by masturbation persist even after marriage! For good reason, God’s Word urges: “Beloved ones, let us cleanse ourselves of every defilement of flesh and spirit.”—2 Corinthians 7:1.

All the best
Brenda