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About Pastor Don Carpenter
Expertise
I believe that every word of the Bible is God- Breathed. This blessed book is the foundation of truth for faith and practice. If you ask this volunteer a question you will receive an answer from the Bible that is based upon a literal, normal interpretation, taking into account the grammar and culture of the time.

Experience
I have been in the ministry 20+ years. During that time I served as a youth pastor, christian counselor, assistant pastor, church planter, and a senior pastor.

Publications
Revival Baptist Chronicles
The Fundamental Baptist Voice

Education/Credentials
BS in Bible, from Baptist Bible College in CLarks Summit PA

You are here: Experts > Teens > Spirituality/Religion for Teens > Christianity --Youth Issues > masterbation

Christianity --Youth Issues - masterbation

Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 6/6/2007

Question
QUESTION: I am achristian male of 35+. I am still unmarried. I believe in Christ and I know God condemns sexual immorality. I never had sex in my life. I have very strong sexual drive. I always battle against something in me. I know its the evil. But I sometime fail to control the drive and masterbate. I pray everyday, read scriptures but still I fail often. I understand why Paul said in the Romans that "I do things which I don't want to do. I want to do things but I can't do". I sometime have dreams of tempted to have sex but in my dreams I battle against it with the knowledge of scripture and wake up. In few occasions I ejaculate.

Its a drive so intense which makes me erratic and erotic and can't stop for I feel streams of blood and sensation that cause erection. I need to masterbate to feel relaxed. I fight everyday against it. Sometime I win but fail too. Once I became addicted to pornography but now I managed to overcome that. I know sex is such a feeling which is inside one's own body. If one doesn't have the drive he/she is not normal. I have found passages in the scriptures. I read them and try to follow but at times its so strong I need to masterbate or its making me restless. I don't know. I pray to God. I come accross with different thoughts that the characters in the scriptures might have had similar situations like me before their marriage. What they used to do. How did they handle it.

Please help me and pray for me that I can win over this.

Thanks

ANSWER: Hi Sebastian,

Thank you for this very personal question. It seems as though you are doing everything that you can. I will give you a few things to keep in mind:

1. God said that this kind of thing is a war. Some battles you loose some you win.

1Pe 2:11 Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;

Gal 5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

2. If you are a born again Christian, you stand in God's righteousness, not your own, you stand before Him clean!

Rom 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
Rom 8:32 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
Rom 8:33 Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.
Rom 8:34 Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Don

Thanks very much for your answer support. I would like to ask then although its related with medical science for my friends are mainly doctors. They say its nothing wrong, healthy if you be within limit.

My arguement is that a person cannot stop producing the semens in their body. Its involuntary in nature in one's body's system or mechanism. The semens which are produced in the testicles are sent to prostrate gland for storage and which comes out during sex or masterbation and in wet dreams. My inquiry is that when one cannot stop producing the semens for its involuntary unless voluntarily by medicines or otherwise. Again if one does it then it may cause problems when a person needs it for the marital purpose or the conjugal life which cannot be denied. Logically when production is there and no usage but only storage which has a limited capacity then wouldn't the storage be overrflowed? Can it be naturally stopped? Now even if someone fights back masterbation and wins over it, would he be able to win stopping the semen production and overflow eventually according to biological science. I knew in my experience someone who had been advised by the doctor to masterbate because of his health concern. What would be the justification from the biblical point of view? Perhaps as a counsellor one might say he should get married with the support of the Holy Scripture Paul suggested to marry rather dying with passion. Now if the situation is as such the person is not in a situation to marry which is dependent on issues like unemployability, no accomodation of his own, no security of job. What he would do? Because this situations are numerous in economically poor and highly populated nations.

Or

For example a married couple among which one of them is too ill to have sexual relationship or doesn't like sexual activities but love her husband. In that case the other is very active (which is nothing wrong). Now the active partner (spouse) cannot divorce his wife except found guilty in committing adultery. What would he do?

Sorry for asking these questions but life is unpredictable and especially for the Christians of faith because the devil is always there to mess about the ones who are firm in their faith. What does the scripture says? or is it silent?

Thanks. Regards in Christ.

Sebastian

Answer
Hello again Sebastian,

Thank you for your follow up questions. Lets consider the last question first. It is part of the marriage contract to provide for the sexual needs and desires of one's partner.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

God does not hold us responsable for dreams that we have or involuntary release of semen.... It is the pursuit of sex with ourself (masturbation) that can be destructive spiritually.

It would seem that your vest course of action is to ask God for a wife, and make decisions in life that would prepare you to be a husband. I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don

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