Expert: Carl Fuglein - 7/2/2003

Question
What do you think of this response to a question about masturbation on a website?



"my friend and I were having a sleepover. It began of course as simple sex talk, but it grew into the "show me yours and I'll show you mine" sort of thing. From there it escalated to touching, massaging, and just the routine experimentation normal for boys our age (we were 13). After that we just started masturbating right in front of each other, and since we are straight, we started talking about the girls we liked. Eventually we were too horny to contain ourselves, and we started masturbating each other. Let me tell you, there is nothing better than to have someone do the work for you! I had one the most intense orgasms ever, and we have done this many times since. By the way, I am a devout Christian, and this is the same friend I pray with. God is good!"

I really dont know what to think of this, I am a christian and I just dont know how these people are at peace with what they do. Is what they are doing wrong?  

Answer
Hi James-

I agree with you - I think what they are doing is very wrong, and to post it on a website (especially if it is a Christian teen website) just makes it worse.

Here's why I think it is wrong:

Talking about girls while masturbating is lust - a specific sin, as well as masturbating one another is considered a perversion:

Romans 1says:24  Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.
25  They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator--who is forever praised. Amen.
26  Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones.
27  In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.


Masturbating frequently can become addictive and physically harmful and is not what God intended.

Saying that God is good, praising Him for unnatural sex would sort of fall under the category of taking the Lord's name in vain, as it is NOT what God intended.

Is masturbation itself a sin?  Keep reading:

Masturbation or a similar reference  is found in the Bible in 3 places:

Genesis 38:9   “But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother.”  

Genesis 49:4    Turbulent as the waters, you will no longer excel, for you went up onto your father's bed, onto my couch and defiled it.

Deuteronomy 23:9-14 When you are encamped against your enemies, keep away from everything impure. If one of your men is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he is to go outside the camp and stay there.  But as evening approaches he is to wash himself, and at sunset he may return to the camp. Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement.  For the LORD your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you.

Although not mentioned as a specific sin, most of the emotions that go along with masturbation are, e.g., lust (coveting someone other than your wife) will normally occur when someone masturbates.  Masturbation is normally done for selfish pleasure – if all you are focused on is yourself, then how can you be honoring God?  God gave us sex for both pleasure (within marriage) and to procreate the race.  Masturbation does one, not the other.  Also, masturbation is far from the best sex you'll ever have – I don't think it's what God intended.

Will masturbation keep someone out of heaven?  Well, no more than any other sin, and it, like any other sin can be forgiven. Masturbation among males is very common – 92% of males masturbate at one time or another, even after marriage or during a sexual relationship.  (The female percentage is 55%.)  Assuming that the 8% of males who DON'T masturbate are Christians, and since 85% of the US claims to be Christian, that means that about 87% of Christian males masturbate.  

Certainly if the boys are masturbating INSTEAD of intercourse outside of marriage, that would be preferable, but, nevertheless still a sin in my eyes.  If they become obsessed with it and do it several times a week or even several times a day, and view pornography while doing it (or lusts after the girls they like), then they may have a serious addiction that can be every bit as powerful and dangerous a disease as alcoholism or  drug addiction.  If they do it only once in a while, it's not going to hurt them, but it sounds like they've gone beyond that point.  And yes, it DOES feel good, and wrong, all at the same time.  Much like any other sin.

How do they stop?  Pray, pray, pray – turn their thoughts to something else.  How do you stop other sins?  Gluttony, envy, pride, you name it.  Sin is sin, and ANYthing that takes you away from a closer relationship with God is sin.

What should YOU do about this situation?  Well, if you're serious about helping others to grow closer to Christ, I'd post on that website and tell them that you think they're wrong.

I'd appreciate it if you told me where you saw this post - I'd like to see how others reacted.


Please rate my reply and give me some feedback as to whether my answer helps you understand this difficult issue.

God's Blessings!

Carl