Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 4/14/2004

Question
Hi, my gf like me comes from a religeous household, however her dad is very conservative and extreme and views her (piercings music etc.) as a sign of no vaules and often times is very mean to her calling her names and making her cry, she is 18 and wants so badly to just leave it all, I am trying to help and am going to talk with her parents this week. I would like some verses that I can quote and use God's power to turn her dad's eyes inward and help her family to get along better. Any vereses or advice would be appreciated God bless.

Answer
Hi Adam,

I do have some verses, but they may not all be what you might have thought I would give you.  You are stepping inot a sacred thing, a relationship between a father and his daughter.  The "mean" factor is hard for me to see, because the only evidence of that meanness is high standards and a fit of tears from your gf.  Be very careful here.  Perhaps the one who needs some adjustment is your gf.

Ephesians 6:1-4

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Remember if the problem is obedience, the Bible has no magic number 18 as the year of emancipation of children out from under parental control.  For ladies, the only time that she comes out from under dad's authority is when he passes her on to the authority and protection of her husband on the day of her marriage.  If it is obedience that she is struggling with ( not his meanness) then the problem is rebellion....and that is very serious.

1 Samuel 15:23
23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.  

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

If you think that the problem is greater than simple disobedience, but rather that her father is in some kind of sin, then i suggest that you get your pastor involved, and do not try to confront this yourself.  You will destroy the relationship that you should be developing with your gf's father... if you wish this relationship to go anywhere.

I hope that I have helped you.

In Christ,
Pasor Don