Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 8/30/2004

Question
i have a question about teens and relationships. If two ppl a girl and a boy are christians and they have premarital sex before marriage. What are teh consequences in the future? What happens if both the girl and boy realizes it's wrong and that it is a sin? How do we approach such issues like this? In the future, if they marry somebody else would that be committing adultery? Does that mean the girl and boy should get marry because it's the will of the Lord. I would like some advice. Thank you!

Answer
Hi Jenny,

Thanks for these questions.

I have the following principles for you to consider.

1.  Any sex outside of the marriage bond is sin.

Hebrews 13:4
4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2.  Sin is cleansed by confession and trusting in the finished work of Jesus in the cross.

1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

3.  Now you must walk purely.  Do not allow this to be able to happen again.  Do not allow yourself to be alone with a boy.  NEVER touch a boy in a sensual way until you get married.

Romans 13:14
14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

4.  You may wish to break up with the boy with whom you fell.  The temptation to continue this sin may be strong.  DO NOT MARRY HIM!!!  If he valued you so little as to steal your virginity.... then he will not value you when you are older and less attractive.  This is not the partner that can provide what you need as a spouse.

5.  Get counsel from your pastor.  He is the one God has given you to help you through times like this.

Hebrews 13:7,17
7 Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation.  17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.  

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this helps.

In Christ,
Pastor Don