Expert: Carl Fuglein - 12/8/2006

Question
I've been lead to believe that a "true" Christian is one who connects with God on a very deep level, and who actually witness to nonbelievers.
2) I don't believe that the guys at my church care because they usually are asleep during sermons and talk about fights after church- your stereotypical black "gangstas", if you will.
3) at times, i do feel that i need to do something to get them to care, but i feel that i really can't because i really can't relate to them, or speak in public, for that matter(Yikes!). i sometimes imagine myself and write stories about helping them, but that's as close as i ever have the guts to get.
5)everyone in our church is a volunteer
oh yeah, i should also mention: my church is so small, we don't realy have an official "youth group", that's just the age group name that's convenient to use.we honestly need to start one, though, because after the adults get too old to run the church, i think it may fall apart(God forbid). Sad but true.
Well, thanks for listening to my first question!
P.S. i also play viola. i'm not sure if you can relate to this, but do you think i could work a classically trained violist into an African church? thanks again!
-------------------------------------------
The text above is a follow-up to ...

-----Question-----
hello! thanks for reading my question in the first place!
anyways, first question: there's this guy at my school(he's 15 and sophmore, Im 14 and freshman) that i really like. ALOT. i mean, i always thought that crushes were a waste of time, but i can't get my mind off of him. i have other things to worry about, like my own relationship with Christ(i  know that's not too hot), and my schoolwork.ths is the longest i have ever liked a guy, and i don't like it. He's in our school christian fellowship, so i don't think he's a bad guy. how do i go about dealing with this?i feel like i could start a good. . relationship-type thing if i wasn't so darn boycrazy. .

second: i've pretty much known about God my entire life, so i've always accepted that way of thinking without really thinking, you know? Well, i took that spiritual skills assessment thing you mentioned in an earlier article and realized: i want to be a true Christian, but im not. i felt like i had to come online because i don't think anyone at my church youth group is. The adults in the church don't help either: they just tell us to stay in school, don't do drugs, and leave the funky bible stuff to the grown-ups! how can i get kids involved in the church who simply don't care? thanks again
-mercy








-----Answer-----
Hi Mercy-

Cool name!  Your parents did good.

As for the boy in your life - you DO realize, of course, that your body has been pre-programmed by God to like boys, so that's not all bad.  What may be a bother is that you're a little young to be dating, and I imagine your parents probably think that way, too.  I don't think you'll be able to get the "He's so cool" feeling out of your head that easy.  I'd just be friends with him for now, and if you start getting too many raging hormones, try concentrating on reading your Bible or doing your homework.  Cold showers work, too, lol.

Now for your second question which is a little more difficult to answer.  Before I answer that, however, I think I need some more info from you, so please answer the following questions:

What do you think being a "true" Christian means?

What reasons can you give me that make you think that your fellow youth group members are NOT Christians?

Do you think it is your responsibility entirely to "save" or "convert" the kids who don't care?

What do you mean by "don't care"?

Do you have a paid or full time youth minister, or just volunteers?

What types of things do you do in youth group?


Okay, that's enough for now.  Instead of thinking of your "boyfriend", why don't you concentrate on answering these questions for me, and I promise I'll write back soon, okay?

hugs,
carl  

Answer
Hi Mercy,

Thanks for writing back.

Well, first off, could you come to MY church?  We could use some classical viola.  Have you played any bluegrass?  I know that may be a stretch from classical, but there is a considerable amount of bluegrass gospel music that uses a violin or a viola - I don't know if you like contemporary Christian music, but David Crowder Band plays some blue grass and one of their band members plays violin.

MY definition of a true Christian is one who believes that Jesus walked on Earth, is the Son of God, and he died for my sins (and yours) so that you can have eternal life with him and God in heaven.  If someone truly believes that, then they will attempt to live their life on a meaningful spiritual level and walk with God.  God gives all of us different gifts, and although he told us to go and witness, there are different ways that you can witness. St. Francis of Assissi said, "Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary" .  What this means is that we can live a devout life and never say anything to anyone, and they can learn from watching us.

The Great Commission found in Matthew 28:16-20:
16Then the eleven disciples left for Galilee, going to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him—but some of them still doubted!
18Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given complete authority in heaven and on earth. 19Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. 20Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Do you believe that Jesus died for your sins?
Do you believe that Jesus was a real person and the Son of God?
Do you believe that you are going to go to heaven BECAUSE Jesus died and rose from the dead?

If so, you are a true Christian.  The rest of the stuff follows because you WANT to do it.

It is NOT your responsibility to make the guys in your group care, but you can certainly say something to them when they are acting inappropriately - you could say something like, "I can't believe you're talking about fighting when you're in church learning about Jesus!"  They may tease you, or make fun of you, but I believe that it is something that you should do.  If you're not comfortable with their behavior and their talking 'gangsta', and you don't feel you can say anything to them, what you CAN do is not hang out with them.  Seriously, if they realize the reason why you're not spending time with them, the ones who DID care would begin to respect you, and possibly change.  It's obvious that you want to do something for them because you write about it - that's actually not a bad start.  Could you write them a letter?  Seriously, write them a letter to let them know what makes you uncomfortable to be around them.  Don't be "preachy", just say, "I wish you wouldn't talk about fighting - it makes me upset."

As for your youth group - do you have the option of going to another church?  Or would your parents not allow that?  I think you should go to whoever is your preacher/pastor and tell him (or her) that you would be interested in learning more about the Bible and about Jesus.  Tell him also that you would like to have some sort of youth group where you get together on Sunday night or some other time and talk about current issues, talk about the Bible, play games and have a good time socializing.  If you have a really small church, that may not be possible, but unless you live way out in the country, hopefully there may be another church nearby that is bigger and has a youth group.  You have to talk to your parents first, though, and tell them that you need more instruction, that you want to learn more and that your church doesn't do enough.  Ask some of your friends at school if they go to a youth group, and ask if you can come to visit.  Don't be afraid to ask some of your white friends, too - church should not be a racial thing (although unfortunately it is sometimes).  You would certainly be welcomed in our youth group - we have a couple mixed race families in our congregation and have had black kids come.

Getting back to your viola playing - do you have a music person in your church?  A choir director or organist?  Ask them if they can help you find some religious viola music - many of the old hyymns are actually from classical music.  This season would be great - learn to play some Christmas Carols, and then volunteer to play in church.

I hope this helps.  Let me know if you talk to some of the older folks in church to see what they think.  Most, not all, older folks would be interested in young people that want to learn more.

Please write again.

hugs,

carl