Expert: Carl Fuglein - 12/13/2006

Question
I am a father on 15 year old son who we raised as Christian.  For about a year he is interested in philosophy and his own interpretation of everything plus he has quite a strong believe in his intellectual abilities. He formulates his current position that he wants to live his life by philosophy not by religion. He says that he believes in god existence, but not in Christian God. It is very hard to have conversation on this topic as he refuses any argument that reference Bible or church teaching. He is definitely in a process of searching a forming his opinion.
Could you advise me in the following:
-   what is the best way to have a conversation on this topic with him
-   could you  reference some books, articles, authors, web sites, etc that would provide enough eyes opening material about what Christianity is and what would be relevant to his discovery  process and maybe approach it from philosophical view. Something that is not heavy on "Bible references but logical arguments that support our faith. Something that provides enough evidence that Christians are not asked to have just a blind faith because Bible says so”. He is looking for resources that are supporting other point of view and believes than Christianity.

Thanks and God bless you.

Answer
George-

Thanks for writing about a troubling situation.  

Your son is at an age where rebellion of some sort is not at all unusual.  This is not always a bad thing - he could be doing drugs or smoking, but it seems he is only interested in philosophy.  I beleive that you should listen carefully to what he has to say, debate him on points on which you disagree, but respect his right to have his own opinion.  It may not seem like it, but you are in the position to more heavily influence him than anyone else - statistically, parents have the most influence on teens.

If you're looking for research or reading material, check out these books:

The Case for Christ
The Case for a Creator
The Case for Faith

The author is Lee Strobel - any better Christian bookstore will have it, and larger Barnes and Noble should have it also.  There is a student issue of the first one.  Lee Strobel is a journalist who set out to prove that God / Jesus were not real.  He found the opposite and became a Christian.  I would start with the Creator book, suggest your son read it - tell him it is an objective book about religion.

The most important thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open.  One thing that I've found after almost 30 years of ministry - you cannot force anyone to believe.  All you can do is share YOUR faith and let them know you are absolutely convinced that Jesus is real.  They have to make their own decisions without being coerced.  This can be an opportunity for you to reexamine your faith and why you believe - just share that with your son, and don't be judgemental.

Good luck.  Please take the time to rate my answer and let me know if it helps - write to me in a month or two to update me.

thanks

carl