Expert: Ernie Laurence, Jr. - 12/30/2009

Question
I know you get alot of questions about divorce and remarriage, but I have a question regarding a specific situation. Let me begin by setting the stage: 2 young NONBELIEVERS get married, live in a relationship for less than one year together, but are married for a total of 3 years.  Neither attended church.  The wife decides she no longer wants to be married to the husband.  She wants out of the relationship.  She evens makes plans to married another man some time in the two years of separation. The husband also begins to see other women but doesn't have any true relationships with anyone.  So the husbands seeks a divorce, afterwards he meets a Christian woman and later marries her and he is then baptized in the church and leads a Christian life with his second wife and two children.  Based on the information provided, was he free to marry the second wife and is the second marriage right in the eyes of the Lord.  Thank you.  

Answer
Leigh,

I appreciate the question.  This is one of the harder topics for people to understand, not because the Bible is complicated about its teachings, but because people have so much personal emotional investment in the issue and a lot of baggage from what men say.

The Bible is very clear about the topic of marriage, divorce, and remarriage.  I'm sure you know all the passages that relate so I'll not re-post them here.  For ease of conversation we'll call the man Bob and the woman Jane.

1. The first issue I will touch on is that God did not give two separate laws, one for Christians and one for non-Christians.  All humans that are of an age where they are accountable for their own actions are amenable to the New Testament Law of Christ.  So the fact that these two individuals were not Christians, never attended worship of any kind, and then one later meets a Christian and becomes one is irrelevant.  The Law of Christ holds jurisdiction at all points in a person's life today.

2.  The second issue is whether or not the divorce is scriptural.  If the divorce is not a scriptural divorce, the remarriage of either cannot be.  If Jane, who decided Jane no longer wanted to be married to Bob, had sex with another man before Jane divorced Bob, and Bob did not have sex with anyone before he divorced Jane, and Bob divorced Jane for the reason of adultery (all other reasons are unscriptural), then the divorce is a scriptural divorce and Bob may remarry any eligible woman (one who is unmarried or scripturally divorced herself).  

If Jane never had sex with anyone before Bob and Jane's divorce, or if Bob DID have sex with someone before Bob and Jane's divorce, then the divorce is unscriptural.  At this point remarriage cannot be considered by either party because the divorce is unscriptural.  The only person Bob or Jane could "marry" at this point is each other because God still considers them married (hence the reason he calls the remarriage "adultery").  Adultery, by definition, is a sin specifically committed against a spouse.  How could one commit adultery if they were not still married.

3.  The final issue is whether immersion washes away the non-Christian's sin of an unscriptural divorce.  This is not the case for the simple reason that to be a candidate for New Testament immersion, one must repent of their sins (turn away from living in sin and turn toward God).  Acts 2:38; 3:19; 5:31; 26:20; 2 Cor. 7:10.  In ever case of NT salvation, repentance was required first.  Bob, if he was unscripturally divorced, is living in an adulterous relationship according to scripture.  Until he repents (removes himself from the adulterous relationship) he has not met the prerequisites for being immersed into the body of Christ.  Even if Bob were to remove himself from the current marriage, be immersed into Christ, then "remarry" the second woman, he is once against entering into an adulterous relationship.  Keep in mind, all of this is ONLY for the case that Bob is UNscripturally divorced.  If he is scripturally divorced (Jane cheated on him by having sex with another man while Jane and Bob were still married and Bob remained faithful while they were still married) then Bob is free to remarry any eligible woman.

So many people get this all mixed up because they focus on the remarriage aspect or the immersion aspect of the forgiveness of sins.  The focus of the whole discussion is on the act of divorce.  Is it scriptural or not?  If Bob and Jane can honestly answer that question first, then they can start thinking about consequences of that answer.

In Truth and Love,

Ernie