Expert: Joe Norman - 1/17/2010

Question
I'm divorced, and live with my young son and his mother. We separated for the past few months but are Living together and plan to wed soon. The past few years we have gone together to church some. We split the times we did worship between a non-denominational and church of Christ. She never grew up in a church but I in the coC. The problem is that she refuses to go anywhere else but her church or let me take our son to a different church than hers. It really bothers me because I don't approve of the way they worship or do things. What should I do?

Answer
Hi Aaron,

I really appreciate you choosing me to answer your questions. My hope is that God is glorified by my response being biblically sound. I am not inspired, so study what I present to see if what I present is true.

I am concerned about some things and maybe it is due to not knowing the full story. But if I understand you correctly, you are living with your ex-wife and your son at present. You are no longer married to her, but are living together. If you are living with her and sharing a bed like you are still married, that is a sinful situation to live in. It is good news that you are going to marry her a second time real soon, but to be right with God, you cannot share a bed with her, having sex with her when not married.

Now let me address your difficulties with where to worship as a family. First, it needs to be understood that all churches (other than the churches of Christ) that claim to be "non-denominational" actually mean they are "inter-denominational". Here is what I mean. They recognize all denominations as branches of Christianity and accept anyone from any denomination in their church. The churches of Christ believe and teach what the Bible teaches. There is only ONE church (Eph.4:4) We are calling all who are in denominations to renounce man-made doctrines and creeds and join us by being the church Jesus built.

Now here is something else to consider. Man is supposed to be the head of the house just as Jesus is head of the church. (I Cor.11:3; Eph.5:22; Col.3:18) His wife is to submit to him completely as to the Lord. You put yourself in a difficult situation though by marrying someone who is not a Christian. She considers herself a Christian, but she isn't one. But as head of the house, you cannot give in to her either in regard to where you worship. Sadly, this is a real problem as well because you have a son. But you need to worship God as God dictates and do so acceptably. That is most important. The goal is to find a way to convert your ex-wife to true Christianity. You cannot worship with her any longer and were wrong to have gone with her to her "church".

You must remain faithful to God and the One Way that leads to eternal life. Do not give in and let her be in charge. You are head of the wife and head of the family. You must be an example to them in hopes of leading them to Christ. You must be careful though not to allow your ex-wife...soon to be your wife once more...to lead you away from the one way that leads to eternal life. I never wish to encourage divorce but nothing, not even marriage should keep you from living your life in service to God.

I do hope that I have answered you well and biblically. If you have a follow-up question, please let me know. If you have new questions I will do my best to answer you quickly and biblically. I pray for you and your family. I pray you will be able to bring your wife to God and are also able to raise your son to become a good and strong Christian man.

In Christian love, Joe Norman