Expert: Joe Norman - 3/22/2010

Question
Hi Brother Norman,

Can God forgive someone of Adultery and accept them back into the Church if they have truly repented of their sins, even if they have remarried? Does God expect this Christian person to divorce their new Christian Spouse to satisfy him or does his Grace cover everything and provide for a clean slate?

I have sinned and fell away from God for a number of years and on my knees I came crawling back and want to live my life with my new spouse in peace and righteousness without fear that we are going to hell when we are judged. Can I have forgiveness if I have truly repented and have dedicated everything to God’s glory? Do I have to divorce my husband and live alone for the rest of my life to have forgiveness?

Answer
Hi Jessica,

I firmly believe that forgiveness can be given to anyone who repents. What many do not understand about repentance is it doesn't look back, but only looks forward. If you divorced for selfish and wrong shallow reasons, you sinned by getting a divorce. If you married someone new when the divorce was a sin, it was wrong to marry someone new as well. But nothing in God's Word tells us that these sins are unforgivable. Nothing in God's Word indicates anyone should divorce their current spouse to make their life right with Him. In fact, a scholar in the church of Christ by the name of Pat Harrell did research in church history. He found no evidence of anyone in the first 500 years being told to divorce and live celibate to make their life right with God. He also didn't find one instance where water baptism was denied to anyone based upon their current marital status.

But let's look at a few passages in I Cor. where Paul speaks the most about divorce and remarriage.

1 Cor.7:7-11
7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

Paul begins in verse 7 by saying he wished all men were as himself. This is referring to his not being married and not being tempted to fornicate. But he knows each person has his own "gift" from God. Then he encourages the unmarried and widows to remain without a spouse. But if they lack self-control, they should marry. There are no qualifiers regarding the "unmarried". It could be those never married and also could include those who are divorced. But he said it's better to marry than to burn with passion.

Verses 10 and 11 are two of the most mis-interpreted verses in the Bible. Many falsely interpret these verses to be speaking of divorce. But I am convinced it is not about divorce, but separation. He starts verse 10 by saying, "To the MARRIED I command..." which proves to me he was speaking about separation. He says the wife should not DEPART from her husband, but if she does leave, she should remain alone or be reconciled to her husband. Not the key to me is the word reconciled. If a couple is divorced, there can be no way to "reconcile". They can only choose to marry each other again because divorce always ends a marriage. Only a separated and not divorced couple can reconcile.

Here is another important passage from the same chapter.

1 Cor.7:26-28
26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.

Paul was only encouraging celibacy because of the "present distress" he mentioned in verse 26. In verse 27, Paul says if you are bound to a wife, don't seek to be loosed and if loosed, don't seek to be bound. One is loosed who was once bound. That is a simple fact and easy to determine. But he continues in 28 and says, "But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she hasn't sinned. This is pretty clear as well. A person who was loosed from a wife was once bound so it must refer to those divorced and those who are widowed.

Now back to repentance. You did wrong in your past. Now you are returning to God. Just like the prodigal son, you are welcomed by your Heavenly Father with joy. He doesn't want to know about your past. He has forgiven you. He is having a huge meal with you in celebration and hugs and kisses you. He loves you. He has forgiven and all past wrongs are forgotten. You are now married to a good Christian man. God hates divorce so it makes no sense to divorce him. Two wrongs don't make a right. Love your current husband and be faithful to him the rest of your days. Have no fear for both you and your husband are saved and will be in Heaven as long as you continue to walk in the light as He is in the light. Christ's blood continues to cleanse us of our sins as we walk in the light. (I John 1:7)

Please do not think you have to divorce and live celibate. Unfortunately, most in the Lord's church are taught incorrectly about divorce and remarriage and so there may be problems for you and your husband if your situation is revealed to your local church family. I pray that isn't what happens though. But more and more people are learning the truth on divorce and remarriage and so it is possible to find a local church that will not have a problem with your current marital status.

I also think it is important to note that of the 3,000 souls baptized on the day of Pentecost, a large percentage were most likely divorced and or remarried at least once because they were all Jews. The most popular teaching on divorce and remarriage was that of the school of Hillel. He taught that the Jewish man could divorce his wife for any and every reason. Yet, not one person was denied water baptism that day or even questioned about their marital status. God's grace is sufficient for you. The only unforgivable sin is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. May God be with you and your current husband. I pray many years of happiness and a life in serving God. If you have follow up questions for me or come up with new questions, please let me know.

In Christian Love, Joe Norman