Expert: Hoyt Roberson - 1/16/2011

Question
I was reviewing your discussion on this topic and would love for you to expand on your view.  I would really appreciate any biblical references you may have to support you thoughts and explain how there were places in the old testament that God required His people to divorce their wives (put away) because the Hebrews had not married according to God's will.  Thanks

Answer
Hello, Jim

Following the exile, Ezra and Nehemiah found that some Hebrews had married foreign wives and this caused no little amount of consternation. Ezra's reaction is recorded in chapter ten of that book, but it shows up in various chapters. In short, Ezra in concert with the rest of the leaders of the Hebrews directed that they would separate from and send away their foreign wives.

Under the Law, Hebrew men were allowed to send away their wives if the wives did not please their husbands. A certificate of divorce was provided, releasing the woman from her commitment and allowing her to remarry.

Over time apparently there arose an argument over what exactly formed a legitimate basis for sending away a wife. Either any little old thing, or only for infidelity. Those who thought anything would suffice apparently developed the habit of using any old thing to essentially practice serial monogamy and it is this practice that forms the background to Jesus' discussion.

Knowing what the Law allowed, Jesus nevertheless said that if you send away your wife, you "cause her to become an adulteress." Obviously, if the Law allowed divorce and if done appropriately, would allow the woman to remarry (which it did), Jesus is either confused or he is speaking of the topic in another vein.

Jesus' comments are based on his answer to the original question which answer is "only for infidelity," rather than any old thing. He says that Moses allowed you to dismiss your wife, but the real expectation of God has always been that you would not; the only acceptable reason would be for infidelity. If that was the case, then a divorced woman must have been an adulteress. It isn't that her status changed, but that she would be viewed as such and would become a social outcast, unable to find support and unable to adequately support herself.

Men or women who wantonly divorce their partners without sufficient basis are themselves guilty of adultery - unless infidelity is involved and it is clear why that is. Folks who dismiss their partners violate the commitment they have made to their partners; they have broken a covenant.

None of this means that either the divorce isn't real, or that adultery is some sort of on-going sin. God acknowledges that we have broken a bond; if we hadn't we would not have sinned. It is in the breaking of the bond that the sin occurs, not having intimate relations with someone.

So, while we should not divorce our partners (even if infidelity is allowed, the example of God argues that the expectation is that we would not for any reason), once we do, we are no longer married to them. Given that, if we remarry, our commitment becomes that to our new spouse. There is no obligation to divorce a second spouse and leave them and whatever children we may have with them, and return to our original spouse. Although, if we have divorced and we can reconcile, that would be preferable.

The entire discussion is one of character and integrity rather than Law.

Hoyt