Expert: Joe Norman - 6/22/2011

Question
We have recently discovered a difference in understanding with our elders, preacher and some members of our congregation of 1 Corinthians 7:10-11. We do not see anywhere in these scriptures where Paul is saying it is okay for a Christian to divorce and remarry if his or her unbelieving spouse leaves him or her. We have only seen one clear reason for divorce which Jesus himself stated in 3 of the 4 gospels. Ex. Matthew 19:4-6. What do you know about these verses. And where do you turn when the elders won't budge on an issue of salvation? I can't find anything else but to go the elders and go to the church. In distress please help if you know of any scripture you can send me to. We want to work this out. thank you

Answer
Hi Tammy,

I am not sure I can be of help to you in dealing with elders, preachers, etc because most of them have their minds made up that it is impossible for them to be wrong about their understanding of divorce and remarriage. They believe it's not possible to be wrong so automatically reject whatever is presented.

Having said that, I do wish to share my insight after many years of deep study and research. The first problem is I Corinthians 7:10,11 is falsely assumed to be speaking of divorce and it is NOT. (caps for emphasis only# That is speaking of abandonment, separation without a bill of divorce. At the time it was written only the man was able to file divorce. Notice Paul is addressing the woman. He tells her she should not depart or leave her husband. If she does, she must "remain unmarried". They will claim this proves she is divorced, but because he then says "or be reconciled to her husband", I am convinced there was no divorce because once there is a divorce, he is no longer her husband. Also since she couldn't file for divorce in that day, she could only leave him and live as one who is "unmarried". At the end he then says the man must not depart from his wife. But Paul never says anywhere that no one is permitted to divorce.

Paul does indicate the Christian is able to remarry. In verses 6-9 this is very clear.

1 Cor.7:6-9
6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Paul knows few men have the "gift" from God to endure a celibate life like Paul. When Paul addresses the "unmarried and widows" I am convinced he is speaking of those divorced because those never married are referred to as virgins. Now I know it's possible to be never married and not a virgin but that was not very common back then. It is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Then Paul speaks of when a Christian is married to a non-believer in verses 12-15 and states near the end of that passage that a Christian is not under bondage in such cases #as when a non-believing spouse abandons him or her#. So again I believe "not under bondage" is an indication that the Christian is able to divorce the non-believer who abandoned him or her and find a new spouse to marry.

Then in verses 27 and 28 we see these words of Paul.

1 Cor.7:27-28
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.

If a person was "loosed" from a wife then obviously he was at one time bound meaning married. So, if a person was "loosed" from a wife he does not sin if he later chooses to marry. Another evidence that Christians are able to remarry. Paul is not at all concerned with how a person became "loosed" either. Also there isn't one example of any Christian in the New Testament being told they are in an "adulterous marriage" or told they must divorce their current spouse and either live celibate or return to their first spouse to be right with God. Paul only encouraged celibacy because the church was being persecuted at that time. In fact, Paul taught in I Tim.4:1-3 that certain things being taught were "doctrines of demons" and one of the things he mentioned was "forbidding to marry". Now I know many will say that was a reference to the coming Catholic doctrine that priest and nuns are forbidden to marry but forbidding to marry is a doctrine of demons regardless of who teaches it.

You stated Jesus only gives one clear reason for divorce which you said he stated in 3 of the 4 gospels. This is not correct. What we call "the exception clause" is only found in Matthew 5 and Matthew 19. It is not in any of the other gospels. Also it is a poor understanding of Jesus' words which makes people think Jesus gave only one acceptable reason for divorce. Most ignore the proper context of what Jesus said and to whom He was speaking. Jesus was being tested by Pharisees in Matthew 19 over Deuteronomy 24:1-3. He was not giving new commands to Christians. His words are in complete harmony with the Old Covenant Law. Also when Jesus said "except for fornication" He did NOT mean except for reason of adultery. If there was adultery there would have been no need for a divorce because both involved in the adultery would be stoned to death. I am convinced Jesus meant exactly what Moses meant in Deaut 24. If the wife did something to bring serious shame or disgrace upon her husband, he could divorce her and not sin in divorcing. Also, if he divorced for no valid reason, he did sin and it was serious. The divorce would be a "type" of adultery because he has broken the marriage covenant and is no longer faithful to his wife by divorcing her. It is the divorce that is the sin not the remarriage. It is also a one time sin act. You cannot be in a continuous state of adultery by remaining married to your second wife. Adultery is being unfaithful to your wife. If you are in a new marriage and are faithful to him or her, you are not guilty of adultery.

I hope this has been of help to you. Please try to read my most recent posts on this topic to get more information. If you have follow up questions or new questions I am always willing to help. I will be praying for you.

In Christian Love, Joe Norman