Expert: Joe Norman - 1/23/2012

Question
I was married to my first husband for 8 years. He cheated several times throughout out marriage along with doing drugs, alcohol, etc. Well toward the end I had decided to divorce him but did not tell him right away. While he was out of town for a month, I slept with another man. When my husband came home I told him I wanted a divorce. We separated and well he filed for divorce first because it took me longer to get the money. For about 8 months after divorce I slept with other men. I was not a Christian at this time. I met my husband now and he has been divorced(ex wife cheated). We lived together for a little while before we married. And soon after our marriage I was baptized into Christ (my husband repented of his sins, he had already been baptized). My question is if I am condemned due to adultery and if my marriage is right with God, because I love God with my all and only want to glorify Him.

Answer
Hi Mae,

I am thankful for you choosing me to answer your questions and as always I do my best to give solid biblical answers. You need to understand that no one can change their past and right every wrong done in the past. The moment you were baptized you were made clean and were born again...you rose from the watery grave to live a new life. Also, your husband repented of his sins...one of his sins was having sex with you and living with you prior to being married. You are both married to each other now and are now doing your best to live your lives for God. You are not condemned due to adultery...there is only one unforgiveable sin mentioned in the Bible and that is "blasphemy of the Holy Spirit" which is when you deny Christ was the son of God openly and turn your back on God. But even that can be forgiven by turning back to God...the problem is that very very few will ever do that because their hearts have become so hard.

Adultery is not unforgiveable and repenting of "adultery" is done by saying from this point forward I will not commit adultery again. You are married...God hates divorce...stay married and faithful to your husband and you show God you have truly repented of adultery.

Matt.12:31,32
31 Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. 32 And whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.

I know some will think otherwise and tell you that a consequence of your adultery is remaining celibate the rest of your life but they are wrong. A consequence is a result that naturally occurs because of an action done. Telling someone they can never have a marriage again is not a consequence, it's a punishment.

Paul tells those "unmarried" that it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Unmarried can be anyone divorced as well as those widowed. (I Cor.7:7-9)

I do wish you well and hope you will remain married and happy. Honor God with the current marriage and remain together and living for Him. If I can be of further assistance please write a new question or a follow up to this one and I will try to respond quickly.

In Christian Love, Joe Norman