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Churches Of Christ/Man appointed deacon who has three living wives


The congregation has three elders and a preacher who is also one of the elders.  This leadership has appointed a man as a deacon who has been married three times.
1.  The preacher says we should take note of his present marriage because it is a beautiful marriage and the other marriages should not matter.  This is a church of Christ!
2.  One elder said that the leadership can only take the word of the deacon in question about his first two marriages.
1. The preacher said to me when I met with him that "the Devil was working in me."
I am at a lost as to what I should do about remaining in this congregation.  My husband is sick and it is not possible for me to become part of another congregation.
I have been a Christian since 1982 and I have never been faced with anything like this.  I am appalled at this situation.
Now, my question is:  If I remain in this situation, will my soul be in danger?   I have made my concens known to both the elders and the preacher.

Hi Mary,

Thank you for asking me your question. I am not sure if my response will be what you expected but I do believe my understanding of marriage divorce and remarriage is biblically accurate. Unfortunately I do not know what caused the deacon's first two marriages to fail but if the elders and preacher believe the fault of those first two marriages was not this deacon's I don't know why anyone would have a problem with his third marrage. I am a little different than them in one aspect though. When the qualifications of elders and deacons are listed in the New Testament they both say the man must be husband of one wife. Now I do understand that men at that time did have more than one wife and the main purpose when Paul wrote that was to ensure the man was not married to more than one at the same time - but I also believe he should be a man who married one woman and stayed married to divorce or remarriage. If you've read any of my previous answers you probably know my understanding of divorce and remarriage is contrsry to what most in the churches of Christ teach and believe but I think my views are biblically correct. In spite of this, I do not think this man should be appointed a deacon.

But I also know that no one person is appointed by God to be sin investigators. They are right to say they can only take his word regarding the two failed marriages. But they should only consider men who have only married one woman and stayed married in my opinion.

Now regarding your question...if you remain a part of that congregation I do not believe your soul is in danger any more than mine was in danger when I worshipped with a non-institutional church of Christ. I was forced to worship with them because no other congregation near me was conservative in their worship. Although I disagreed with them on their non-institutional views I knew their worship was acceptable to God and overall the congregation was pleasing to God. No congregation is perfect just as no person is perfect. If there is another congregation close by that you feel comfortable with being part of change your membership to them. But if your husband's health keeps you from changing congregations your soul is not in danger remaining there. God knows your situation. God knows your heart and you are not in danger.

God bless, Joe Norman

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Joe Norman


I can answer questions regarding acceptable worship, organization of the church, or any apsect of the Christian life. I am the son of a preacher and have studied the Bible from cover to cover since I was 12 years old. I am strong in my research skills and do not follow teachings of men. Many will label me as conservative and some might label me as liberal, but I just seek to be biblical. I understand proper exegesis and hermeneutics and apply them. My desire is to share my knowledge of God's Word with others. Please always keep in mind that none of us who are listed as experts here are divinely inspired and therefore it is possible to get incorrect answers from any one of us. Study the Scriptures and decide for yourself if what is taught is true.


I am the 4th generation in my family to be a faithful member of the church of Christ. I was raised by a preacher and have studied the Bible everyday since I was twelve. I am 45 yrs old now. I am not a "scholar", but I am very familiar with the scriptures.

member of the church of Christ, served as a Deacon for a few years at LakeShore church of Christ in Waco, Tx. I currently live in the North Dallas area and am still very active within the church of Christ teaching, leading Bible Studies, and songleading as well. I am also actively involved in online ministry. I hope to open my own webpage eventually.

School of hard knocks

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