Churches Of Christ/marriage divorce remarriage

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Question
At the age of 20, I married a non Christian.  Within a year he was baptized. He also became addicted to drugs.  He went to prison for four years.  I remained married to him for almost ten years. I did not live with him except for the first 18 months.   After ten years of marriage, he filed for divorce.  Note I did not divorce for adultery.  I remained unmarried for fifteen years after my divorce, knowing I would not have a scriptural right to remarry if not for adultery of my husband.  My first husband killed himself after ten years of our divorce.  I married a Christian man and have been married for six years. I justified my second marriage with not having a living husband even though I was divorced from my first without adultery the reason for the  divorce. I have just lost a brother to cancer, and death has been up on our family alot within the past year.   I do not want to be living in sin.  I do not want to spend eternity  in hell because of something I think is ok.  Please enlighten me.  I have studied the scriptures.  I just want to make sure I am living my life here on earth the best way I can to someday spend eternity in Heaven with our Father.  Thanks, Ann

Answer
Hi Ann,

I really hope you will go and read my most recent answers to others on divorce and remarriage because I believe they will help you. After reading about your situation I need to point out a few things to you. First, there is nothing in the New Testament to indicate that for Christians the ONLY acceptable reason for divorce is adultery. There is also nothing to indicate that any Christian would have a "scriptural right" to remarry or not have it. These ideas come from completely misunderstanding what Jesus said to Pharisees regarding divorce and remarriage under the Law of Moses. So many people have even added to what Jesus said and what has been taught by most on divorce and remarriage is just completely false.

Your first husband was not faithful to your marriage in several ways. First he became addicted to drugs which prevented him from being the good husband he was supposed to be for you. Second he broke the law and was put in prison for 4 years which also kept him from being there for you as your husband. Third, when he got out of prison he did not return to you and eventually divorced you. He was guilty of adultery in the sense of his unfaithfulness to you. The fact many today ignore is that adultery is unfaithfulness to a covenant and this unfaithfulness is seen in more ways than just having sex with someone not your spouse while married.

Although there is nothing written to Christians stating what reasons are acceptable reasons for divorce, we should know that divorce is not something any Christian should want or seek and it should only occur when there is a serious breaking of the marriage covenant and it has become obvious that fixing the marriage is no longer possible. We should enter into marriage expecting it to be once and for life. We should never just think we can divorce for any reason we want and marry someone new. But we should also know that even when our spouse divorces us against our will, no one is ever condemned to live celibate the rest of their lives either.

You are in a good marriage currently and you are not living in sin by remaining married to your current husband. Please keep the marriage centered on Christian values and you will bring honor to God and He will continue to bless you and your marriage.

In Christian Love, Joe Norman  

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Joe Norman

Expertise

I can answer questions regarding acceptable worship, organization of the church, or any apsect of the Christian life. I am the son of a preacher and have studied the Bible from cover to cover since I was 12 years old. I am strong in my research skills and do not follow teachings of men. Many will label me as conservative and some might label me as liberal, but I just seek to be biblical. I understand proper exegesis and hermeneutics and apply them. My desire is to share my knowledge of God's Word with others. Please always keep in mind that none of us who are listed as experts here are divinely inspired and therefore it is possible to get incorrect answers from any one of us. Study the Scriptures and decide for yourself if what is taught is true.

Experience

I am the 4th generation in my family to be a faithful member of the church of Christ. I was raised by a preacher and have studied the Bible everyday since I was twelve. I am 45 yrs old now. I am not a "scholar", but I am very familiar with the scriptures.

Organizations
member of the church of Christ, served as a Deacon for a few years at LakeShore church of Christ in Waco, Tx. I currently live in the North Dallas area and am still very active within the church of Christ teaching, leading Bible Studies, and songleading as well. I am also actively involved in online ministry. I hope to open my own webpage eventually.

Education/Credentials
School of hard knocks

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