Churches Of Christ/divorce/remarriage


My boyfriend and I are currently living together and have a two year old son. We want to be married but are concerned he does not the right to remarry. He and I began dating and having sexual relations while he was still legally married to his first wife. They were in the process of getting a divorce that she filed for because she had an affair and ask her then husband (my boyfriend) to move out so she could be wit and marry the other man. We did not meet or even know each other at this time. He never cheated on his wife while they were in a committed relationship. When we met they were living apart and waiting on the divorce to be finalized. We both know what we are doing is wrong but do not know what to do about it. My question is can we get married even though we were having sexual relations before the divorce was finalized. They were not living as husband and wife and she had already moved the other man into their home. And since she put him away and not the other way around does he have the right to marry.

Romans 7 speaks of the marriage as pertaining to the law.  The questions are simple.  Regardless of what ever else was going on:

1.  Was he still legally married when you had sex?
2.  If he was married when he had sex with you, is that not the definition of adultery?
3.  According to Matthew 5:32-33 and Matthew 19:9 and the parallel passages in Mark and Luke, can a person who has committed adultery marry another person after they have divorced their first spouse?
4.  What is a person who marries a person who divorces after committing adultery committing?

#1 is the most important question.  Your boyfriend was still married when you had sex.  He became an adulterer by definition, as did you.  Given that case, he is ineligible to marry another because of his adultery according to scripture.  Had you been patient and waited until he was truly divorced, it would not be an issue.

In Truth and Love,

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Ernie Laurence, Jr.


I am capable of answering any questions concerning doctrines of the church of Christ. I specialize in Creation vs. Evolution topics, the book of Revelation and other Biblical prophecies, and other apologetics related topics such as distinctions from denominational doctrines.


My experience in this area includes: having been raised by members of the church of Christ from infancy, having been immersed into the church of Christ at age ten, having taken an active role in worship/service leadership (song leading, teaching, preaching, youth ministry) since age fourteen through the present, and participating in numerous formal debates, research projects, and online discussions.

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I hold a bachelor's degree in computer information systems (CIS) from Tarleton State University which focuses on business communication and management. This provided training for how to deal professionally with individuals and organizations if not direct training in the field of religion. See experience section for informal education experience.

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