Churches Of Christ/Abuse


my husband and I are both members of the church. I recently seperated myself from my husband for the safety of myself and my children. I have suffered mental abuse for years. I have reasons to believe my husband may suffered from narcissistic behavior. Is this possible for a christian to be a narcissus? If so, im I sinning if I choose not to reconcile with him?


Christians are subject to all the vagaries of being human, including mental health disorders. It is important though to understand that Narcissism should be diagnosed by a mental health professional.

Whether you might be sinning to not reconcile with your husband depends on more things than whether he has a mental health condition. I do not know the extent of the emotional abuse you have suffered or what your safety concerns are. Marriage vows though, are not made for the times that everything is working well, but are specifically for when we'd rather give up.

Many mental health disorders can be helped with therapy and medication although admittedly, Narcissistic Personality Disorder is notoriously intractable.

It is my view that if your safety concerns are sufficiently significant, not reconciling with your husband would not be sinful. God's dislike of marriage is based on His desire that we live life with integrity, keep our promises and commitments, and remain sexually pure. He does not expect that you should live in fear or suffer chronic or repeated injury.

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Hoyt Roberson


I can answer just about any doctrinal, relational, or Scriptural question from a "traditional" church of Christ perspective, and from perspectives of somewhat more progressive congregations. If you want an answer from a particular perspective, let me know that up front, and I'll respond in that vein. If you want to peg me on the liberal-conservative spectrum, I would suggest a bit left of center. Depending on the question though, I might be far left, or perhaps rather toward the right.


I have fifty years as a member of Churches of Christ. Over those five decades, I have taught teen classes, adult classes, served as a deacon and congregational administrator, Lay Leader at two military congregations, and finally as a shepherd of a 500 member congregation. Most of the congregations I have been a member of have been "mainline" congregations, but I am quite familiar with more conservative and more liberal congregations and views as well. I read and subscribe to various books and periodicals for churches of Christ, and have discussed a variety of topics with representatives of our various groups both in person, and via mail. One of my Masters degrees is from Pepperdine, so let that guide your understanding of my formal training.

Christian Association for Psychological Studies, American Association of Christian Counselors, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.


I hold a Masters of Ministry degree from Pepperdine University, as well as a Masters of Counseling degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Phoenix.

Awards and Honors
The greatest temporal honor I have had is to be an elder for ten years. The next greatest temporal honor is having been asked to preach for our current congregation.

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