Churches Of Christ/tired


QUESTION: What are the duties in a marriage concerning the husband and the duties of the wife behind God should mother and father in law sister and brother in law kids and friends be ahead of the husband scriptures would be nice and a book reference to

ANSWER: Miguel

Thank you for writing.

There are a number of texts which bear on your question. The first is the Creation account in Genesis where we read that Eve was crafted because "it wasn't good for Adam to be alone.

We also read that in making Man the image of God, that He made them male and female.

The conclusion then is that men and women are a complementary set, each of whom and together are the image of God and form a God-ordained pair. The two work together and become "one flesh."

If we then read the Ephesian letter we find another complementary description of men and women. The man is to love the wife just as Jesus loved the church and gave himself for her, and the woman is to honor her husband. Rather than two different expectations, these are two sides of the same coin pointing again to the complementary nature of male and female relationships.

And so for now, we have two readings, one Old Testament and one New that point to the husband-wife dyad as a central part of human existence.

When a couple marry, they become one. There is no room for others to come between them, whether children, parents, or in-laws. Nothing is to interfere with their intimate and exclusive relationship.

The husband is to put his wife first, and then wife hern husband. This expectation is completely individual duties and are not dependent on whether your spouse holds up their end of the bargain.

Having said that, the relationship cannot be used to cut off one's partner from their friends or family. Normal extended family relationships continue and are valuable. They should not be allowed to unreasonably detract from the Cole's relationship.

I hope that helps a bit. If not, send along a follow up.



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Do you think satan can be omnipresent like GOD scriptures please i believe he can't but others believe je can

ANSWER: Hi Miguel, thanks for the follow up.

I know of no Scriptures that directly compare the attributes of God and Satan, so providing direct comparative statements won't be possible. Nor are there passages that describe the attributes of Satan as such.

Even so, there are some considerations we might make. The first is the essence of Satan, and we find that he is not God and certainly not YHWH. God is described as omnipresent because He is God or deity in essence. Satan, not being divine, is a created creature and does not share divine attributes.

There are two passages we can examine to see if they might shed some light on this topic. The first is that Satan is des ribed as a lion roaming around, or looking for someone to devour. If Satan was omnipresent, he wouldn't need to roam or look.

The second is the passage where we are told to resist the Devil and he will flee from us. Again, if he is omnipresent, where will he go?

These are not airtight support for his lack of omnipresence, certainly. They do however point away from that attribute for Satan.

--He is not deity, but a created being and thus does not have divine attributes.
--We are told that he roams and looks, whereas if he was omnipresent, he wouldn't need to.
--We are told that he will flee if we resist him. If he were omnipresent, there would be no point.

I hope that helps a bit.



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Should a wife embarrass her husband treat him wrong and he forgives her but over and over it's the same thing i mean gone outside the marriage three too four times had sex with others and still forgive her but im at a degree were I'm tired and i think a divorce would be the answer i can't go through this no more i've talked sat down bleeded out my soul same results just tired


Well this is a sad story and if this is your story, I am sorry for you.

No, none of us should embarrass another.

Let's make a distinction between forgiveness and consequences. One can forgive a spouse for infidelity and still decide not to remain married.

The first option is to remain faithful and this expectation is spoken to me, and it's not dependent on my spouse's behavior. In the scenario you have presented here, it would be acceptable for the innocent spouse to do either - remain married or end the marriage through divorce.

As you have presented it, this fits the exception clause given by Jesus. In the presence of infidelity - adultery - it is acceptable to divorce one's spouse. It isn't necessary, but it is acceptable.

Seeking a divorce in this case does not necessarily mean that forgiveness cannot occur. We can forgive people for the hurt they have caused us, but that doesn't mean there are no reasonable consequences for their behavior.

Let me use an extreme illustration. We may forgive someone for molesting our kids, but that doesn't mean we have to let them babysit for us, or run the nursery at church.

Forgiveness then is always appropriate and expected eventually, but it does not erase the effects of behavior or its consequences.

Does that help?

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Hoyt Roberson


I can answer just about any doctrinal, relational, or Scriptural question from a "traditional" church of Christ perspective, and from perspectives of somewhat more progressive congregations. If you want an answer from a particular perspective, let me know that up front, and I'll respond in that vein. If you want to peg me on the liberal-conservative spectrum, I would suggest a bit left of center. Depending on the question though, I might be far left, or perhaps rather toward the right.


I have fifty years as a member of Churches of Christ. Over those five decades, I have taught teen classes, adult classes, served as a deacon and congregational administrator, Lay Leader at two military congregations, and finally as a shepherd of a 500 member congregation. Most of the congregations I have been a member of have been "mainline" congregations, but I am quite familiar with more conservative and more liberal congregations and views as well. I read and subscribe to various books and periodicals for churches of Christ, and have discussed a variety of topics with representatives of our various groups both in person, and via mail. One of my Masters degrees is from Pepperdine, so let that guide your understanding of my formal training.

Christian Association for Psychological Studies, American Association of Christian Counselors, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.


I hold a Masters of Ministry degree from Pepperdine University, as well as a Masters of Counseling degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Phoenix.

Awards and Honors
The greatest temporal honor I have had is to be an elder for ten years. The next greatest temporal honor is having been asked to preach for our current congregation.

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