Expert: Onaga Thomas - 4/9/2006

Question
My wife received a unsigned church flyer through the mail concerning her attendance. The return address on the envelope simply identified the church,there was no identifying name either on the envelope or on the flyer. (Although we have not transfered our membership to this church as of yet, we plan to.) The wife has missed very few services on either Sunday or Wednesday nights. Those she has missed were because of illness or college final exams. Her missed services appeared to be close together, simply due to circumstances. The question: Should we try to find out who sent the flyer
as we would not be comfortable just dropping the matter? We both are more than willing to forgive the offending member, and continue to attend services there, but,do you think the elders should speak with them ? I spoke to an elder this morning he indicated none of the elders sent the flyer, he was sure of that, because instead of mailing something they would have come to us personally. We look forward to your thoughts on the subject.  Thanks for your time.  

Answer
Thankyou for your question James


 Since it was not an elder or church leader that sent the letter to you, my guess is that is probably is a member of your church.  That said, I personally don't think that church members should be sending any letter to any members they think are intentionally missing services.  Your wife had appropriate reasons for missing those few services and sense that member does not know exactly the reasons, they should not send letters to anyone.  In my opinion I say just drop the matter because maybe it was just a concerned member that had not seen your wife and wondered where she was, but just went about the wrong way to communicate that.  God bless