Expert: Hoyt Roberson - 12/20/2007

Question
I have just recently started going to a church of christ with a friend, but i dont really know that much about it. wat i have heard from another friend kind of scares me though. I was told that the church is very serious about the 'doctrine', almost cult-like. Do yall really believe that everyone who is not 'church of christ' is going to hell??? Do yall believe that being baptised anywhere other than a church of christ by a church of chirst preacher doesnt count?? Are women realy expected to sit quiely behind their men and not voice an oppinion?? Is kissing your boyfriend really a 'sin'???? This all very confusing for me......

-cierra

Answer
Hi Cierra!

The short answer to your question is "no." But there are some members and a few congregations that do teach one or more of the ideas you've expressed. However, there are more that do not. Let's take them one at a time....

"Do yall really believe that everyone who is not 'church of christ' is going to hell"
Salvation is more about who one is, and what one's relationship with God is, than what sign is on the building. One need not be saved in a church of Christ, nor attend a church of Christ to remain "saved."

"Do yall believe that being baptised anywhere other than a church of christ by a church of chirst preacher doesnt count"
Baptism is a response to God, offered by a grateul person. Neither the place or the baptizer makes any difference in that response.

"Are women realy expected to sit quiely behind their men and not voice an oppinion"
In some congregations, women are not expected to perform any leadership duties at all. In a very few congregations, women are not expected to speak in an "assembly of the church." However, there are many congregations in which women do lead prayer, read Scripture, serve communion, and lead worship. Most congregations do not have women preachers, but a few allow women to preach from time to time. And so, congregatioal practice spans the spectrum on this question but most congregations don't consider women doing these kinds of things to be "doctrine," but rather simply the way they happen to do "church."

"Is kissing your boyfriend really a 'sin'"
No, but premarital sex and heavy making out may well be. The point here is not sin so much as the idea that neither you nor your partner deserve to be violated without having another person's committment in a long-term intimate relationship. It is more about respecting one another more than satisfying one's urges.

So, to answer your question more concisely, congregational practice spans the spectrum of possible answers. Because churches of Christ do not have a national headquarters or organization, congregational practice can vary widely. Without knowing which congregation you've visited, I can't adequately comment on that congregation.

While some congregations, and some members in others, may well hold some of the views you've indicated, many more do not. Here are some links to congregations that do not hold any of those views (as far as I can tell):

http://www.rhchurch.org/
http://www.universitychurchofchrist.us/
http://www.conejochurch.org/2007/home/index.php
http://www.montgomerychurch.org

Thanks for letting me answer your question. If I need to clarify anything I've said here, please don't hesitate to ask.

Thanks again, and may God bless you as you seek to follow Him.