Expert: Marvin Howard - 10/24/2007

Question
i and thanks for taking the time to read this,

I was baptised in 1989 and for a while i felt Gods spirit and purpose. But since then i have fallen away ( got involved in relationships twice) but have been back in my church for about seven years but even in that time i have struggled internet ponography and paying taxes. I have also suffered from bipolar disorder since i was very young which causes me to be very depressed for a while and then switch to elated and euphoric feelings accompanied by periods of wreckless behaviour (financial overspending etc..).



I used to feel Gods forgiveness when i repented but now i feel like my heart has become very hard and it does not respond and Satan has been accusing me for all the sins i have commited sins becoming a christian. He keeps accusing yet i don't feel God hhas forgiven me. Hebrews 6:4-6 really worries me.

i would appreciate any advice or perspective that i can't see.

Thanks in advance .

Toby

Answer
Hi!

Toby, please forgive my delay. You ask a very tough question; one that is part medical in nature. I needed the time to compose and formulate an acceptable answer. I can’t advise any specific course of action for you in that aspect.

With that said, my wife is bipolar; taking medicine for it. Also, the doctors tell me that I am, but I refuse the medicine. I opt for the spiritual way to cope.

Matthew 9:12, “But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.”

You see, there are cases where a doctor is necessary. Even our Master acknowledged this. Granted, this is speaking of Christ as our physician healing us from the sickness of sin. Nevertheless, it would have made absolutely no sense for Him to use it as an allegory representing Himself, if it was untrue in the physical world. On the medical side of your question, if you need a physician, or even if you suspect that you do, please make it so.

Toby, you also raised some spiritual points I need to address. You obviously know some of your behavior is wrong, so I will not beat you about the head and shoulders for what you know you have done. The issues will require repentance. Quite often, people are confused about the meaning of repentance. Many think it is simply the asking of forgiveness. If you will bear with me, I want to do a very small word study with you from the Greek. Here are both the Strong’s and Thayer’s definitions for, “repent.”

G3340
μετανοέω
metanoeō
met-an-o-eh'-o
From G3326 and G3539; to think differently or afterwards, that is, reconsider (morally to feel compunction): - repent.

μετανοέω
metanoeō
Thayer Definition:
1) to change one’s mind, i.e. to repent
2) to change one’s mind for better, heartily to amend with abhorrence of one’s past sins
Part of Speech: verb
A Related Word by Thayer’s/Strong’s Number: from G3326 and G3539
Citing in TDNT: 4:975, 636

As you can see, repentance has nothing to do with asking forgiveness. Rather, it is feeling so sick about your actions that you determine to do them no more. Of course, we are not perfect in  our stopping, but this speaks of generalities and true desires. Repentance is to think so differently that you will no longer desire to participate in the sinful behavior. Once this is reality, THEN you can confess and ask for (and receive) forgiveness. As long as you regularly do it again, you have not repented, and were not eligible for His forgiveness in the first place. God knows whether you mean it. If someone told you that you could be forgiven without stopping (or that forgiveness is what makes you stop), they are sadly mistaken, at best.

I do not know if you are married, but if you have a good wife relying on her for your needs would be a good first step. If you will read The Song of Solomon, and learn the esteem a husband should hold for his wife, the pornography problem should vanish. If you are not married, the more time you spend for the Lord, the less time you will have for these notions and activities. In fact, this is the whole reason Paul said it was good not to marry (1st Corinthians 7:1-2, 7-9); that your time would be free for His service.

You obviously know that Jesus advocated paying taxes. I won’t attack you over that one either.

Now, in case you understood repentance before, I want to address these problems from another angle.

1st John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

1st Kings 19:12, “And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.”

Hebrews 1:1-4, “God who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds; Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high; Being made so much better than the angels, as he hath by inheritance obtained a more excellent name than they.”

God is faithful. He will forgive sins if we accept that forgiveness on His terms; if you have truly repented, rather than just feeling sorrow or shame. However, even if He once did appear as a still, small voice, God no longer speaks to us by that means. Now, Jesus is the authority. By extension, He sent the Holy Spirit to inspire the Biblical authors (John 14:16, 26/15:26/16:7). Once that was perfected (1st Corinthians 13:1-13 esp. v. 10), the Spirit speaks to no one else in such a private manner. He couldn’t so speak without compromising Jesus’ authority, for His inspiration was only promised to the Apostles. *

No one will “feel” forgiveness. If you felt something, that was from another source. Knowledge of forgiveness is from faith. Faith is now our evidence of everything (Hebrews 11:1). If feelings were legitimate, we would have a different source of evidence. If feelings were legitimate, we would have no need of faith; which incidentally comes only from the Bible (Romans 10:17), not from within.

1st Peter 5:6-9, “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.”

Satan will come after Christians. Once you know you are forgiven, he will try to make you doubt it. He is, after all, the author of any spiritual feelings people have; good or bad (2nd Corinthians 11:4). When you are afraid, give it to God. Everything that is Christian is based upon factual, logical knowledge of the Bible.

Toby, thank you for the chance you have given me to be of service. I am sorry that I could not help you more fully on the medical issues. I want to close by exhorting you to open your Bible and study the following passages anytime you feel weak in these areas:

Matthew 6:19-34 (Please pay special attention to vv. 26ff)

Philippians 4:6-9

* (That Mark and Luke were not Apostles in no way makes their work uninspired. Their inspiration came from the hands of Paul, in whom they were in very close company. They could be inspired in the same manner that anyone could receive the Holy Spirit and any miraculous gift: only by the laying on of the hands of an Apostle. {Acts 8:5-19 esp. vv. 14 and 18})

In His Service,
Marvin Howard
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