Expert: Onaga Thomas - 10/24/2007

Question
i and thanks for taking the time to read this,

I was baptised in 1989 and for a while i felt Gods spirit and purpose. But since then i have fallen away ( got involved in relationships twice) but have been back in my church for about seven years but even in that time i have struggled internet ponography and paying taxes. I have also suffered from bipolar disorder since i was very young which causes me to be very depressed for a while and then switch to elated and euphoric feelings accompanied by periods of wreckless behaviour (financial overspending etc..).



I used to feel Gods forgiveness when i repented but now i feel like my heart has become very hard and it does not respond and Satan has been accusing me for all the sins i have commited sins becoming a christian. He keeps accusing yet i don't feel God hhas forgiven me. Hebrews 6:4-6 really worries me.

i would appreciate any advice or perspective that i can't see.

Thanks in advance .

Toby

Answer
Thankyou for your question Toby

 I do hope you always feel secure in your relationship to God.  Since you have been baptized into Christ and are a part of His family ANYTIME you repent you are forgiven.  So in God's perspective you are a forgiven man.  The problem you and I and other christians have felt at some time or another is forgiving ourselves.  He have to take our burdens to the Lord and leave them there, so if you ask for forgiveness you must know that you are forgiven but also to forgive yourself.  Pray that the Holy Spirit gives you that ability to forgive yourself and then not beat yourself up for your sins.  Satan will always accuse us until it comes time for God to deal with him once and for all, so knowing that we all need to be strong in the Lord, believe His word and believe in Him.  In your reference to Hebrews 6:4-6, Paul is speaking of those you deny the Lord after already becoming christians.  Your feeling that God has not forgiven you is not a falling away, denial, or walking away from God.  It is what it is, a feeling.  I hope and pray you get to the point where you know God has forgiven you because HE said so, and I believe God 100 percent.  Friend, you are forgiven since you are a child of God.  When God looks at a repentant christian He sees Jesus, since He died for your sins.  You are forgiven indeed.


God Bless you Toby

Onaga