Expert: Marvin Howard - 7/4/2006

Question
Hello from harrison ar.  i am just starting to teach a ladies class about being wives of elders,I know that the roll of an elders wife should apply to all us as we strive to be pleasing to God, do you have any information on this that you could share with me that i can review and perhaps use in my class? would love to hear from you.  thank you sharon

Answer
Hi!

Sharon, I appreciate the opportunity to answer this. Since I am not a female, it is going to be hard for me to amplify on feelings and attitudes involved in this subject. Therefore, I will just list Scriptures unless otherwise warranted historically or to contradict popular, false doctrine. Many of these passages are more a listing of ideals, rather than commands for all women to follow. While important for all women, the wives of elders are to teach younger women how to be good wives (1st Timothy 5:2) and so must be good examples. In other words, the elders’ wives must be held to this standard first, in order to be able to help others do the same. This is especially true of the passages from Proverbs, and elsewhere in the Old Testament. Perhaps this list will help you to further develop a more personal class for your congregation.

Genesis 3:1-6, “Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.”

1st Timothy 2:12-15, “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.”

Historically, this is the reason for the different roles of men and women in their relationships to God. This does not make women second-class in anything. However, they are the "weaker vessel" spiritually (more susceptible to temptation and emotion) according to 1st Peter 3:7. In order for any change in the roles to occur, one must now be able to say that the man ate first in the garden. In addition, one must remember that God ordained three institutions: the home, governments, and the church. The home was the first and foremost of these, and Christ made appeal on multiple occasions for a return to the way God made it at the first. The reference to childbearing is a direct reference to womankind in general, and her role in the household, rather than an individual actually birthing children. If this were not so, then all barren women would be lost. Therefore, let us now turn our attention to just what the role of a woman should be in God’s eyes.

Genesis 24:11, “And he made his camels to kneel down without the city by a well of water at the time of the evening, even the time that women go out to draw water.”

Today, with modern technology, it is not necessary for water to be drawn from wells in most households. However, this does show that a woman serves her household, and makes her a helper to a man, one who is suitable for the job (Genesis 2:18).

Exodus 35:23-26, “And every man, with whom was found blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen, and goats' hair, and red skins of rams, and badgers' skins, brought them. Every one that did offer an offering of silver and brass brought the LORD's offering: and every man, with whom was found shittim wood for any work of the service, brought it. And all the women that were wise hearted did spin with their hands, and brought that which they had spun, both of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine linen. And all the women whose heart stirred them up in wisdom spun goats' hair.”

In the construction of the Tabernacle, God relied on the generosity of giving among His people to meet His requirements for worship. One such requirement was cloth of the colors of royalty. One must remember, these people had just come from slavery, and did not have much of these materials. Consider the use of the word, “found.” In the above passage, the royal colors were rare, and search needed to be made for them. In order to assist the men in their worship requirements, women pitched in to supply for the need by making the needed cloth.

Leviticus 18:8, “The nakedness of thy father's wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father's nakedness.”

To look at a woman was to look at her husband. This is further proof that a woman is actually a part of her husband (Matthew 19:5). As such, she should not fight with him, for so doing will rip one body into two, incomplete halves.

Proverbs 22:14, “The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the LORD shall fall therein.”

“Strange women” is specifically a reference to those women outside of Judaism: God’s chosen religion of the day. Again, it is easier to tempt women to do wrong by appealing to their emotional side, and women can easily mislead men. A man should not take a woman for a wife of a differing religion, whether it be atheism, buddhism, paganism, catholicism, or protestantism.

1st Timothy 2:9, “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array.”

Though this is appropriate for church, notice it is a continuation of Paul’s enjoinder to men to pray everywhere. Therefore, this method of a woman’s adornment is applicable everywhere. Customs and manners of dress change historically. One such instance is that men used to wear something akin to a dress, while women wore something akin to pants. The point is that women are to try to be women within their era, and not try to be men. They are not to draw attention to themselves by their manner of dress. This would actually restrain some of the ultra conservative women from wearing things such as berkas of the muslims or the “Pilgrim era” outfits worn by the Amish. The idea is that everywhere the focus is to be on God, and not on ourselves.

Of all the New Testament guidelines for women, my favorite lists of “do’s and don’t’s” is found in 1st Timothy and Titus. They are the most comprehensive of all.

1st Timothy 5:1-16, “Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. Honor widows that are widows indeed. But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless. But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work. But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. For some are already turned aside after Satan. If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.”

Titus 2:1-5, “But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

One thing that has become unpopular is the teaching that women are to be obedient to their husbands. Many denominations actually omit this line from the marriage vows anymore. Nevertheless, listen to the Word of God. A woman who is disobedient to her husband blasphemes the Word of God. At the same time, a man is supposed to love a woman as himself, for according to God, she is he. If a woman is wise in choosing her mate, obedience is going to be easy, for he will not ask something above that which is her ability or that God does not already ask. In addition, it has become unpopular for a woman to be a “keeper at home.” This does not mean that a woman may not set foot out of her house, not even to work. However, it does mean that she is to keep up with the house, and that is her prime role and duty. If anything (even a job) prevents this, it needs to be relinquished.

1st Corinthians 7:34, “There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”

1st Corinthians 11:3, “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

These lead us to another topic which has become unpopular. We stated this in a different way earlier, but it is far more clear here.

1st Corinthians 14:34-35, "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."

Just as it was a shame for a woman to speak during worship under the Law, it remains the same in the church. A woman is not permitted to speak during church, and it's because the woman ate the fruit first. This is God's Word. I know that the words of many men call Him a liar, but that does not make it so.

1st Peter 3:1-7, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

Peter supports Paul in these matters. Now that we have examined the spiritual aspects of the familial relationship, let us turn to the physicalities of the home and the role of women within, and a few wise and practical sayings (both positive and negative).

Proverbs 11:16, “A gracious woman retaineth honor: and strong men retain riches.”

Proverbs 11:22, “As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.”

Proverbs 12:4, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.”

Proverbs 14:1, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

Proverbs 21:9, “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”

Proverbs 21:19, “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”

Proverbs 27:15, “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”

Proverbs 31:10, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”

Proverbs 31:30, “Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.”

Ecclesiastes 7:26, “And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her.”

Sharon, I pray these words from God prove beneficial to your studies. If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask.

In His Service,
Marvin Howard
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