Expert: Charles W. Field - 7/27/2009

Question
My daughter dated a young man who entered the military.  We didn't know it at the time, but he had lied to us for months prior about his family - stories of abuse, neglect, etc.   His family never had any money and he couldn't stand them, and so when he needed things, he asked us - we felt sorry for him, and helped him out.   There were a couple of things that he did verbally agree to pay us back for - an airline ticket, charges he made on our itunes account, etc.   He has paid back some of the money, but is now claiming that his family is the "perfect" family, and that we are the crazy ones.   We are suing him to try to recover what we can.   We know we have an uphill battle, but feel that had we known the true story, we wouldn't have provided anything to him at all.   What proof do I need in going into court?  Thanks.

Answer
In most commercial settings, a loan can be proven by, e.g., a promissory note to the bank. However, in most family settings, folks rarely get the promise to repay in writing. With no writing, proof of loan vs gift will be showing what the intentions of the parties were at the time. You will need to do at least two things: First, obviously, gather any documents that support your claim that these were loans. Next, you will need to bring everybody you can think of to court to testify about any conversations indicating the intent (i.e., whether it was a loan or not). Good luck.