Expert: Jamie Novak - 7/27/2007

Question
I'm the world's worst at cleaning and organizing my house.  The past few years things have really gotten backlogged since my divorce.  I work 6 days a week, and my kids (15 and 21) do NOTHING.  I mow, cook, shop, take out trash, etc.  I need to find a way to introduce chores to them, and at the same time find a system to get my house (and life) back in order.  There are papers everywhere, clothes everywhere, etc.  It's a nightmare!!!!!!!!!  HELP!!!  Thanks!

Answer
Hello and thanks for writing in.

Gosh it sounds like things there are a little chaotic and that you are feeling overwhelmed.

Just to let you know you are NOT alone. This is so common but the good news is that it can be solved!!

It is not uncommon for things to get a little out of control after a major life change, like a divorce.

So what to do about it...well there are lots of places to start.

First let me say that this is not an overnight process and it seems to me that some company along the way might help out. So I invite you to join me on my message board which can be found at

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-hgrealorg?redirCnt=3

Also there are lots of helpful articles to read, audios to listen to and other tips at www.JamieNovak.com

Before you start with the children I'd start with your stuff.

1. Choose one small area you'd like to tidy up and have a system going for. It might be mail, your clothes, the laundry, whatever, pick 1 area.

2. sort the area so you know what all is there

3. put away what you use and love.

4. keep the area clean and tidy for 1 week by fixing it every day, and move onto another area

Once you have a little habit going of keeping an area tidy you can then show your children, explain the system and ask for their input.

Then you might involve them by asking them each for a bag of unused stuff to go to charity.

Or you might set up simple household rules like whatever laundry you want done needs to be in this spot by this day and time every week and pick it up here

the more you involve the children in the new routines the more likely it is that they will follow them

You may or may not need to give them a general explanation that things are going to be more organized and you can tell them why- maybe you spend money on late fees because you pay bills late- or you double buy items because you lost the first one- if they understand WHY and how it can benefit them, like having extra money in your pocket to treat them, then it works better.

I know this may be a lot of info. to start off with, take a deep breath and tackle one small area.

There is plenty of support on the message boards where I also answer posts every day. I hope to see you there.

Oh and one last thing, while on my website you can sign up for the clutter challenge, it is a small tip I send by email every Monday, they are very helpful and I think the Monday reminder might work for you.

I know you can do this, good luck, Jamie