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College Life/professor - the sauga continues!!


Dear Ms. D,
I've asked you two previous questions regarding the same professor, and your answers have been amazing - I'm risking being audacious and asking one final one.
   I've had the same language professor for the past three courses (once out of my control).  I am still averaging over 90%, and have been for the last two courses.  Two weeks ago he called my progress 'inspiring'.  I talk to him a lot after class, I say hello, goodbye, send emails when the need may be...all because I generally like him as a mentor - and I think he would make amazing friend (he's gay so there's no attraction issues here) - but we only have two classes left - and he never reciprocates on a personal level.  Ironically, a female friend of mine who started his classes with me, never says hello to him, never stays after class, is mediocre in grades, but he pays much more attention to her - and I'm baffled.  All three of us are attractive people so it isn't as if I have a wart growing out of my nose!!
Anyway, last class he was asking the class who was going to continue with the next level, which he happens to be teaching - immediately out of 30 people he turns to her and says happily “Are you  continuing on?” and she replied no, not until the fall (meaning she may not even get him again)  He then asks a few more people, but he has only known me and her the longest, so I couldn't believe he wouldn't ask me.  Then after a few more rounds, he pitifully asks me “Are you continuing?”  almost lie throwing the dog a bone, and I said ``maybe``.  He then says don't you want to take  a break for a while, and rest your mind?”  and I replied I don't now yet.
Am I jut overly negative or is he really saying “please take  a break and get the hell away from me” whereas the joyous way he asked the other one implies really wanting her to continue.  I don't know why what he thinks affects me so much, I guess I feel he really liked me in he beginning, but my personality eventually turned him off - and that makes me feel like gargabe.
My friend told me, I talk to him too much, ask to many questions and am not aloof, and that probably resects the other one because she doesn't give a hoot.  Once when he thought he would never see the two of us again, he flippantly said, “and if you guys ever want to have a drink let me know”  well I followed up tat offer once when I saw him alone, and he said something to keep in mind, but has never approached me.
How do I say my goodbye to him next week, do I offer drinks again like a loser, or should I consider what he said a clue that he does not want me in his next class.

Thank you as always Ms. D - you're the best!!!

Dear,  please don't ask this man for drinks again.  It appears he was just being polite.  He is your teacher and probably has no real interest in being anyones friend.  I'm sure it's not just you.  Professor or not,  I am sure you are talented and awsome enough where you don't need to chase after anyone.  Like I mentioned he is probably just being polite and professional.  
I believe your friend may be correct.  Your teacher hears from you often,  you meet with him,  you email him. He probably sees your drive and effort and commitment and may not see it from those he pays more attention to. He knows you are driven. Think about it,  he knows you,  probably does not know them.  You are probably self motivated and he gives more attention to those who need the push. He is probably more personable with them because he needs to be to get them more involved.
Just from these few exchanges with you it seems you work really hard and take your education seriously.  That may be why you need the break verses a slacker.
I will be honest,  it doesn't seem like your teacher has an interest in friendship but that's ok.  You both did your job.  He taught.  You learned.  And did it well

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Ms. D


I can answer general questions about college life as an adult student as well as traditional age. I can help you with how to make the right choice of school, being away from home for the first time, adjusting to being a big fish in a small pond, Do's and Don'ts and almost anything that is on your mind. If I do not initially have the answer I will help you figure it out.


I am a college graduate with multiple undergraduate degrees and a Master's degree. I have graduated from college as a traditional student and have also graduate from college as a non traditional student.

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