I have been talking to a girl from Colombia for about a year now and she wants to be a couple. The other day she had a birthday party and was dancing very provocatively with another man.(She posted a video on Facebook). I was jealous and asked her about it and she told me that is the way it is in Colombia. Was I wrong to be upset and jealous? I am trying to understand the way things are in Colombia.

The good thing for her is that you may be "jealous", but you're sensitive enough to learn about her customs before you let it get the best of you.  Bravo!  You weren't wrong to be jealous - you (like me) are a foreign male and whether we admit it or not we are that way!  She will learn in time, just like you, that the clash of cultures is bound to lead to some jealousy, arguments or at the very least confusion.

OK, the bottom line.  Yes, it is completely, 100%, without a doubt, NORMAL and absolutely nothing to get jealous about.  I don't know what area she is from, but the region she lives in (i.e., Barranquilla or Cali) may even enhance my statement more so! Dancing is a way of life for Colombian women, and by God if you aren't there with her or you don't know how, you better be ready for her to hit the floor and get her groove on!  Colombian women do not see the same "sanctity" that we seen on one-on-one dancing.  For them it is purely excitement, pleasure, ego and entertainment (none of those meant sensually, per say).  

Let her rock, and let her roll, and enjoy watching HER in the videos.  Next time you visit, ask her to teach you Salsa, Merengue, Bachata, Vallanato (if you don't already know how) and use that as a building block in your relationship (which she will LOVE you for by the way).  Then take her out dancing whenever you can!  If you ever get tired, because she will surely wear you out, let her dance with others - you may even make some male friends that way.

I learned this exact thing almost 10 years ago, and my Colombian wife loves me for it!



All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




Having lived in Colombia for almost 10 years, I currently live in the U.S. but maintain dual-residency. I am happily married to a Colombian and we have a preteen daughter who we are raising to be bilingual and bicultural. I can answer most questions about Colombia, including those about culture, travel, visas, passports, leisure and safety/security. If I don't know the answer, I'll do my best to point you in the right direction!


I have professional experience in foreign safety and security. I have personal experience living in Colombia, maintaining residence in Colombia and dealing with visa issues. I stay out of the "tourist crowd", so have developed real knowledge of Colombia and its' people.

Multiple U.S and European security organizations.

College-educated, multiple professional certifications in my field.

©2017 All rights reserved.