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Communication Skills/Female Body Language: Attraction or Fear


What does the following body language convey:
The first time you talk to a girl (specifically a cashier), she only holds eye contact with you for a split second and immediately breaks it and tilts her head downward/looks down and curls her hair behind her ear when you talk to her?
What does it mean when the same girl (still behind the cash register but not in conversation with you but not helping any customers, but a different cashier is helping you at the moment) looks at you out of the corner of her eye with her head tilted downwards and then moves/brushes hair away from the side of her face that's facing you and a couple of minutes later she again looks at you out of the corner of her eye and if you're on her other side now she brushes hair away from both sides of her face after her sidelong glance at you.
Does that mean she's attracted to you and can't hold eye contact, or is she nervous/intimidated, or suspicious of you and trying to comfort herself?
How can you use your own body language to give off a better image of yourself to prevent making a bad first impression?

Hi Dee,

Typically the actions that you are describing would be usually be attributed to interest rather than intimidation.  The curling of the hair and putting the hair back is the gesture that gives it away.  If she looked downward only, it could mean different things; but the two together likely indicate interest.

The second part of the question, that of how you can use your own body language to prevent yourself from making a bad first impression has a simple answer. Give your body the right vision of yourself and it will adopt the perfect mannerisms.

First, Dee, realize that your body reflects your attitudes, while your words can say something completely different.  Rather than forcing your body into a certain mechanical position do this instead.  Close your eyes and imagine yourself being attractive, (physically, mentally, intelligently, etc). See yourself in command of these attributes.  Allow yourself to imagine people staring at you favourably. Hear them whisper positive things about you as you walk by. Feel the feeling of walking with your shoulders straight back, chin up, and supremely confident with yourself. Get all of those senses working in your imagination. Tis is important. When you've got this image real strong in your mind, snap your fingers and say "yes" out loud. Do about six times in a row. Make the image, sounds, and feelings real and at their peek, snap your fingers and say "yes!"  

The next time you need to have your body express that image, just snap your fingers and say "yes" and your body will adopt the exact posture you created in your mind. Do it before going into the store where the girl is.

And by the way, if the girl is putting her head down, she may be feeling a little self conscious, so be a hero and say hi to her. This tells her that she deserves attention, not to mention that if you want to know if she is interested in you; starting a conversation is one way to find out.

All the best, Dee, and I hope that this was helpful.

Please don't forget to honestly rate the answer. (let me know how it works out)

Phil L. Méthot

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Phil L. Méthot


For individuals wanting help with public speaking, I can answer most questions dealing with skills, memory,and body language. Essentially the tools required to become a great speaker. For individuals having trouble communicating one on one, or getting their voice heard, or their message across, I can help you with that too. Listening is an important part of communication, so we can work on improving your listening skills as well. If you feel you are not being understood, that is a deeper issue, but we can start here to steer you in the right direction


I have successfully worked with corporations as a motivational management consultant across Canada. I have twice been President of a Toastmasters group, as an Advanced Toastmaster Gold. I wrote the multimedia ebook: "10 Steps to Becoming A Great Public Speaker." My book "Through the Door!" :A Journey to the Self, dealt with self-image and Will Power. Self Image plays a key role in our ability to communicate and listen effectively.

Toastmasters - Currently President of Pointe-Claire Toastmasters (club 9750)

Book: "Through the Door!" :A Journey to the Self by Phil L. Méthot Book: The Weight is Over - A revolution in Thin Thinking by Phil L. Méthot Multimedia Book: 10 Steps to Becoming A Great Public speaker by Phil L. Méthot Articles in,

Canadian Training and Development Group, success Motivation International

Awards and Honors
Three times recipient of the Presidents club award through the Canadian Training and Development Group and Success Motivation International.

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