Communication Skills/Dorm Guy


There's this guy that I have caught looking at me. We live down the hall from each other(co ed dorm). When he looks at me, he doesn't smile, but he has a warm look on hiss face. Also, I could be at football games and he's with the event staff. He would stare form the sidelines. Yesterday, I was heading upstairs to a friend's room and when I got to the stairwell, I noticed that he was coming up the stairs. We looked at each other for a second and it looked like he was about to come in before me, but he stood back and held the door open for me. I said thank you and he just looked at me. I know that whenever a guy holds the door open for you, they are just being courteous, but giving his taring, what could that mean? Why might he not have said your welcome and why isn't he communicating with me verbally?

Hi Jordan,

It is very interesting that you sent this to me under the category of Communications, because it is hard to answer the question based on how you communicated it to me.  For example: you haven't indicated if you are interested in this guy or not, which would have helped me understand the unspoken communication that might be going on.

You asked what does it mean that he held the door open for you? Well, it could be many things and I would just be guessing with so little information. Also you want to know why he isn't communicating with you verbally?  Since I haven't met him or you I couldn't know whether it is because he is shy, intimidated, simply polite, or maybe he is not getting the signals he expects from you.

I would hazard a guess that since you bothered to write to me, that you are interested in him. (If this isn't the case, I'm sorry but you didn't tell me anything). If that is the case, Jordan, you can save yourself a lot of questioning by speaking to him first, very casually, and seeing what his response is.  It is amazing what you can learn by saying "Hi!"

In the past, when others have sent me similar emails, what was really going on is that the writer didn't want to take the first step, and so, spent his/her time guessing at the motives of the other person. You can save a lot of time and guesswork simply by striking up a conversation with him first.  It sounds as if you two are bound to bump into each other from time to time, so smile and say hi and see what happens.

Even if you were not interested in him in any way that could be considered a relationship, there is nothing wrong with being friendly. So the 'Hi' from your part could just be considered as you being nice, courteous, and just friendly, without it meaning any more than you want to make it.  So risk a little, and your questions will be answered.

I hope that this helps, and please rate the response honestly.

Phil L. Méthot

Communication Skills

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Phil L. Méthot


For individuals wanting help with public speaking, I can answer most questions dealing with skills, memory,and body language. Essentially the tools required to become a great speaker. For individuals having trouble communicating one on one, or getting their voice heard, or their message across, I can help you with that too. Listening is an important part of communication, so we can work on improving your listening skills as well. If you feel you are not being understood, that is a deeper issue, but we can start here to steer you in the right direction


I have successfully worked with corporations as a motivational management consultant across Canada. I have twice been President of a Toastmasters group, as an Advanced Toastmaster Gold. I wrote the multimedia ebook: "10 Steps to Becoming A Great Public Speaker." My book "Through the Door!" :A Journey to the Self, dealt with self-image and Will Power. Self Image plays a key role in our ability to communicate and listen effectively.

Toastmasters - Currently President of Pointe-Claire Toastmasters (club 9750)

Book: "Through the Door!" :A Journey to the Self by Phil L. Méthot Book: The Weight is Over - A revolution in Thin Thinking by Phil L. Méthot Multimedia Book: 10 Steps to Becoming A Great Public speaker by Phil L. Méthot Articles in,

Canadian Training and Development Group, success Motivation International

Awards and Honors
Three times recipient of the Presidents club award through the Canadian Training and Development Group and Success Motivation International.

©2016 All rights reserved.