Communication Skills/problems

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Question
hi Phil I'm having trouble trusting people at my  work place there's this one person who came in to my work place in December I volunteer there  for a few hours one day a week.
 he's working there. he started out nice then he got me in trouble    saying
I'm not working, & that I'm trying to get to know him,  I just asked a few questions my boss had to come in & talk to me about not asking him questions,  & not talking to him in a busy setting.
he talked to me first he asked me questions & then I get in trouble for it.
my question is why do people talk to you & then get you in trouble?

Answer
Hi Ashley,

First of all I appologize for taking so long to get back to you. Usually, I get a notification that I have a message, but for some reason, I was not notified.

Why do people talk to you & then get you in trouble?  Why indeed!

Ashley, there is no one answer as to why people do the things they do like this.  Some people are afraid of getting too close to people and run (telling the boss is running). Others fear for their position on the hierarchy within an office, and so they become overprotective of their  place in the presumed pecking order. It may be that since you are a volunteer there, that this person sees you as an outsider, but who knows for sure.  It doesn't answer why he talked to you first, then reacted to your feedback. Some people, unfortunately are just not nice.

So why did this particular person do it, your guess is as good as mine. The important thing here though,Ashley, is that it upset you and put you in a position to be spoken to by your boss. I can understand you being upset, and it obviously puts you on the defensive.  I would suggest that you keep your vocal distance from this person, and since you are there for so little time that you cultivate your friends elsewhere.  This doesn't mean that you can't be pleasant and freindly at this place, but being friendly and making friends is two different things.

Phil L. Méthot  

Communication Skills

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Phil L. Méthot

Expertise

For individuals wanting help with public speaking, I can answer most questions dealing with skills, memory,and body language. Essentially the tools required to become a great speaker. For individuals having trouble communicating one on one, or getting their voice heard, or their message across, I can help you with that too. Listening is an important part of communication, so we can work on improving your listening skills as well. If you feel you are not being understood, that is a deeper issue, but we can start here to steer you in the right direction

Experience

I have successfully worked with corporations as a motivational management consultant across Canada. I have twice been President of a Toastmasters group, as an Advanced Toastmaster Gold. I wrote the multimedia ebook: "10 Steps to Becoming A Great Public Speaker." My book "Through the Door!" :A Journey to the Self, dealt with self-image and Will Power. Self Image plays a key role in our ability to communicate and listen effectively.

Organizations
Toastmasters - Currently President of Pointe-Claire Toastmasters (club 9750)

Publications
Book: "Through the Door!" :A Journey to the Self by Phil L. Méthot Book: The Weight is Over - A revolution in Thin Thinking by Phil L. Méthot Multimedia Book: 10 Steps to Becoming A Great Public speaker by Phil L. Méthot Articles in SelfGrowth.com, http://www.uncommonforum.com/

Education/Credentials
Canadian Training and Development Group, success Motivation International

Awards and Honors
Three times recipient of the Presidents club award through the Canadian Training and Development Group and Success Motivation International.

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