Communication Skills/Selfish?


Hello, my question might seem a bit lenghthy but I'll try to cut it short. Is it wrong that I ask my mom to get a part time job? For the last seven uears she has been disabled with a back issue. It is painful but she can stillcwork certain jobs and keep her disability pay. In 2014 she was involved in a wreck that totaled one of our cehicles and gave her a concussion. Im a college student and part time cashier at a store. During her recovery, i was taking taxis back and forth to schol, working , and trying to do 4 classes. Maybe im just waek as i was not able to do all and ended up failing two classes. She tells ,e that i need to hrry get a degree and support her better financially. However, her wreck and other uncontrollable things have put us in the financial hole. I want HER to work part time, let me concentrate on school, get a degree, and get on with that. Right now, my check is all we have until her check the first of the month. However, when that comes, our bills eat it up. If she worked, we could have less worry and more stable finances but it seems like she wants me to handle it all. Am i wrong?

Hi Ashtyn - without knowing the extent of your Mom's disability, I can't judge whether your request of her is "reasonable" or not. There are many jobs (e.g. sales) that can be filled at home via phone and/or computer. I empathize with your wanting to focus on graduating. Your question suggests the two of you are in conflict, rather than seeking mutual compromise. See these:  //

Respectfully, Pete  

Communication Skills

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Peter Gerlach, MSW


I can answer questions about how to significantly improve your thinking and communication effectiveness, and your relations with adults and kids. I cannot answer legal, medical, grammar, punctuation, spelling, or spiritual questions.


I have studied and taught communication and relationship skills for 40 years, and have been a professional family-systems therapist (MSW) since 1981.


I am a past Board member of (a) a large suburban community mental-health center and (b) the Stepfamily Association of America, and I am a current member of the National Stepfamily Resource Center (NSRC) Experts Council

I have published 6 books, including one on communication skills: Satisfactions ( 2nd ed., 2010); and over 150 articles in the nonprofit educational Website Break the Cycle! -

I have also published articles for and over 150 educational YouTube videos.

BSME, Stanford University, 1959 MSW, George Williams College 1981 Clinical internship U. of Illinois Institute for Juvenile Reasearch (IJR) 1981 Over 100 post-grad courses on a wide range of human-relationship topics

Past/Present Clients
over 1,000 self-referred Midwestern-U.S. adults, kids, couples, and families

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