Communication Skills/Loner query



I am a loner who is nervous among others, and , being eccentric, appear somewhat odd to others. I do not mind per se being a loner but do not like the fact that others often make my life hell once they realise I am a loner, as they think I am defenceless against them. Usually, genuine alpha males and females never bother me as mocking/teasing/insulting others implies insecurity over their own social status(insecurity is not an alpha characteristic), and nerds also do not bother me as they are not interested in social manipulation/shennaninigans. Now, I just ignore the offenders but am wondering what I should do to look more menacing and more confident. I suppose I can reduce my weight so that I look less fat and was wondering about wearing some offensive visible tattoo that implies I will hurt someone badly if they offend me. What other ways can you think of for me to communicate a more menacing look/appearance to others, so that they leave me in peace? Thanks, Gerald.

Hi Gerald. You have several options:

1} Learn to be more confidant and comfortable around people so you don't have to repel them; You can do this by adopting a long-range view and (a) healing psychological wounds you may have inherited:  //  // and...

(b) learning communication skills you were never taught:  and...

(c) learning relationship skills you were never taught:

or 2] you can live alone and unfulfilled for your remaining years and dying without discovering your life purpose and who you really were.

I hope you choose the first option, because you are a worthwhile, unique person

Respectfully, Pete

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Peter Gerlach, MSW


I can answer questions about how to significantly improve your thinking and communication effectiveness, and your relations with adults and kids. I cannot answer legal, medical, grammar, punctuation, spelling, or spiritual questions.


I have studied and taught communication and relationship skills for 40 years, and have been a professional family-systems therapist (MSW) since 1981.


I am a past Board member of (a) a large suburban community mental-health center and (b) the Stepfamily Association of America, and I am a current member of the National Stepfamily Resource Center (NSRC) Experts Council

I have published 6 books, including one on communication skills: Satisfactions ( 2nd ed., 2010); and over 150 articles in the nonprofit educational Website Break the Cycle! -

I have also published articles for and over 150 educational YouTube videos.

BSME, Stanford University, 1959 MSW, George Williams College 1981 Clinical internship U. of Illinois Institute for Juvenile Reasearch (IJR) 1981 Over 100 post-grad courses on a wide range of human-relationship topics

Past/Present Clients
over 1,000 self-referred Midwestern-U.S. adults, kids, couples, and families

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