Communication Skills/Loner query

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Question
Hi,

I am a loner who is nervous among others, and , being eccentric, appear somewhat odd to others. I do not mind per se being a loner but do not like the fact that others often make my life hell once they realise I am a loner, as they think I am defenceless against them. Usually, genuine alpha males and females never bother me as mocking/teasing/insulting others implies insecurity over their own social status(insecurity is not an alpha characteristic), and nerds also do not bother me as they are not interested in social manipulation/shennaninigans. Now, I just ignore the offenders but am wondering what I should do to look more menacing and more confident. I suppose I can reduce my weight so that I look less fat and was wondering about wearing some offensive visible tattoo that implies I will hurt someone badly if they offend me. What other ways can you think of for me to communicate a more menacing look/appearance to others, so that they leave me in peace? Thanks, Gerald.

Answer
Hi Gerald. You have several options:

1} Learn to be more confidant and comfortable around people so you don't have to repel them; You can do this by adopting a long-range view and (a) healing psychological wounds you may have inherited:

http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm  //  http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm

http://sfhelp.org/gwc/1_traits.htm  //  http://sfhelp.org/fam/cycle.htm and...

(b) learning communication skills you were never taught:  http://sfhelp.org/cx/guide2.htm  and...

(c) learning relationship skills you were never taught:  http://sfhelp.org/relate/guide4.htm

or 2] you can live alone and unfulfilled for your remaining years and dying without discovering your life purpose and who you really were.  http://sfhelp.org/gwc/future.htm

I hope you choose the first option, because you are a worthwhile, unique person

Respectfully, Pete

Communication Skills

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Peter Gerlach, MSW

Expertise

I can answer questions about how to significantly improve your thinking and communication effectiveness, and your relations with adults and kids. I cannot answer legal, medical, grammar, punctuation, spelling, or spiritual questions.

Experience

I have studied and taught communication and relationship skills for 40 years, and have been a professional family-systems therapist (MSW) since 1981.

Organizations

I am a past Board member of (a) a large suburban community mental-health center and (b) the Stepfamily Association of America, and I am a current member of the National Stepfamily Resource Center (NSRC) Experts Council

Publications
I have published 6 books, including one on communication skills: Satisfactions (Xlibris.com 2nd ed., 2010); and over 150 articles in the nonprofit educational Website Break the Cycle! - www.sfhelp.org

I have also published articles for Selfgrowth.com and over 150 educational YouTube videos.

Education/Credentials
BSME, Stanford University, 1959 MSW, George Williams College 1981 Clinical internship U. of Illinois Institute for Juvenile Reasearch (IJR) 1981 Over 100 post-grad courses on a wide range of human-relationship topics

Past/Present Clients
over 1,000 self-referred Midwestern-U.S. adults, kids, couples, and families

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