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Communication Skills/should i give him a time limit to contact me


QUESTION: im 32 black and he is 27 hispanic and he is a store manager at a grocery store...from the looks of things he is doing quite well for himself. well ive had a couple of customers ask me was I his girlfriend..i said no.....and he looked up at me and then put his head down....anyway he is shorter than me im 5'3 and he is 5'0 and he is fluffy ( I normally don't date men of that stature ) but if he was to ask me out id give him a chance, he seems like a very nice guy who has a great head on his shoulders..he picks on me constantly, he asked me what was my name, where do i work, do i like my job etc...(personal questions) and im like who does that unless they like you? he knows I LOVE to cook so now he asks me what am I going to cook him......lmbo.....he will stop doing his work with a line full of customers just to turn around and tell me hi, even my brother was like that dude wants you.....

well on Monday 1/11/2016 I went up to him and I was like, hey and he turned around and stared at me with this shocked/stunned looked on his face and I said here and I gave him a folded piece of paper with my name and number on it and I walked away..he watched me walk away and said nothing, .since I gave him my number, do you think he will finally get some courage and call me and ask me out? i was thinking about giving him till monday 1/18/2016 and if he doesnt try and contact me or if i go into the store this weekend and see him and if he says nothing about what i did or try to set up something , im going to move on and maybe it wasnt what i thought it could be.......

my bff told me to wait for him since could be very, very shy and wait longer than a week or approach him and ask him to hang out but i think i did enough....i let him know hey i like you too, thats why i gave him my number. do you think he will call and FINALLY ask me out? thanks for any advice you may have for me.

ANSWER: Hi Yanisha,

I think giving him until the 18th is a good idea. He might be REALLY shy and even though you've given him your number, he still might be too nervous to call. Let him work up the courage. If that fails, then I would just ask him out in person. That's the only way to know for sure how he feels. If he says no, that's his loss! But at least you can walk away from this experience knowing you tried everything you could and there will be no lingering questions in your head. It will leave you free to move on and fully go into another relationship when it arises. You won't always be wondering "what if..."

Good luck and please let me know if you have any more questions!

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: well no phone call, how shy can one person be, its been a week no contact, if he was gonna call, he woulda been did i've came to this conclusion, he lost my number, he isn't interested and I misread everything, he doesn't want a relationship, he is already in a relationship and wasn't man enough to tell me, he is gay or he finds me intimidating. my friend told me to confront him...well im not going to do that, and I dont have time for games either, all I know is he just missed out on a great catch...thanks for all of your help

Well it looks like even if he is just extremely shy, it's a turn off for you, so it's better that you move on. Even if he isn't shy and it's something else, out of simple respect he should have given you some sort of explanation or answer. I'm sorry it didn't work out.

If you have any other questions or comments, please let me know.

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Can answer any questions about communicating with friends, family, children, spouses. How to set proper boundaries, how to recognize when your boundaries are being crossed. How to communicate effectively, respectfully, and honestly. I can help you communicate in a healthy manner and give guidance on how to talk to your children (from birth and up). Good communication with your children also helps with disciplinary problems as well, so I can also help with child discipline. I can try to answer questions about work place communication, but it's not my specialty. I have a deep understanding of trying to have a relationship with people who suffer from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), people who suffer from fear-based decision making and families with a history of mental/psychological, physical, emotional and sexual abuse.


Worked as a Kindergarten teacher for 3 years. I have over 10 years of experience in how to effectively communicate with friends, family, spouses, children. I've worked with a wide range of people (from children, to adolescents, to adults) on creating healthy boundaries and relationships with loved ones.

National Wildlife Federation Audubon Society CHE (Creative Home Educators)

BA in Literature with Concentration in Creative Writing and a Minor in Education. Certified Reiki Master

Awards and Honors
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