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Comparative Islam/related to virginity

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Question
dear brother in islam,

nearly 13 years im suffering by one christian pastor here in bangalore india.

initial time i used to be christian. that time he told " virginity of girl" not on issue while marriage. that affected my mind. after that principle i used to see pornographic web sites due to his abusive teaching on womens virginity. he often talks about virginity .. not about "jesus christ"(since 13 years)

past 13 years he is abusing about me and abusing about jesus christ but nothing happens to him.now im reverted completely to islam. but still lot of things has to happen in my life. say  marriage.

i need virgin girl to marry , but lot of hurting there due to his preaching. he still uses my email id(hacked) and preaching. why god is so lazy in this matter?.but he is only care about how to hurt so that often talks me about virginity. he is international preacher namely zac poonen

now im not at all christian im muslim (namazi).but im looking for good muslim girl to marry. i hate deeeply christians. here they are serving lord for money

Answer
Salaam Brother Yusuf:

The first thing I would advise, is that you please try distance yourself from this Minister/Preacher. You have indicated that he has caused you a great deal of suffering and confusion with reqards to intimate relations with women (specifically with regards to virginity) and that he has gone so far as to hack your email.  This is unseemly and inappropriate behaviour for someone in his position. I understand how you may have been overcome by his influence, but he has been a detrimental force in your life and you must make make every effort to completely sever your relationship with him.

The focus that is being placed on the importance of a womans virginity must be seen within the context of both these religious traditions.  Within both,Christianity and Islam, regardless of current socially acceptable norms, intimate relations between a man and a woman are prohibited outside of marriage. So if either a man or a woman engage in these activities  outside of marriage, it is considered a sin.  

Thus, within the Islamic context, if a woman has been married and divorced or widowed, the matter of her 'virginity' is irrelevent. She has not acted in any way outside of the boundaries that God has ordained acceptable.  If you look at the example of the  Prophet Muhammed (PBUH), the  first woman to accept Islam and his first and only wife during her lifetime, Khadija was both a mature woman and widowed.  In fact, the only woman Muhammed married who was a virgin was Aisha.

Thus, it is important to understand that it is the behaviour of each individual, both men and women that is important. If you are looking for a Muslim girl to marry, your focus should not be upon the matter her 'virginity' but upon her character.  If behaving as Islam teaches is important to you in a potential spouse, obviously you will seek a mate who has lived by its principles. This does not mean that the girl you marry must be a virgin.  If she is single it would be an issue, but if she is married and divorced, widowed, or was the victim of rape she has in now way acted outside of what God has ordained acceptable.  You must understand that the emphasis you are placing upon the significance or insignificance of a womans virginity is irrelevent, if it is not understood within the context of the faith.

I am sorry to hear that you have had such a negative encounter with Christianity.  Please understand that it is not the faith, nor what Jesus taught. You need to find a good, trustworthy Iman who will guide in the right direction and give you the support you need.

I hope I have been able to help and if you have any other questions, I am hear to listen.

Salaamu Alaikum, brother Yusuf.

Zehirr Saifeddine

Comparative Islam

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Zehirr Saifeddine

Experience

I was Born in a small french fishing village name 'Arichat', yet my spirit is tied to a far away land. A land where it is said Jesus walked among the cedars. My father emigrated to Canada at the age 0f 17. From a small Lebanese village to a small village in the Maritimes. Life may take us to distant lands but we carry in our hearts the songs that our souls leave with. For as far back as I can remember, my father prayed his 5 daily prayers as did my grandparents when they came to visit. I remember my brother would jump on my grandmothers back thinking she wanted to play with him as she knelt. This is the Islam that I grew up with. My father was strict, but compassion and love tempered the rules and him and my mother were not proponents of empty rhetoric. They taught us our religion, the love and fear of God, manners, respect,decency,kindness and compassion. They taught us a sense of humanity that I know the world today is in desperate need of .

Organizations
Lifestyles Toastmasters

Publications
No, publications but I have spoken on several occassions with regards to relevant topics.

Education/Credentials
-University of Calgary Bachelor of Education in Religious Studies/Political Science -Worked on a Masters

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