Expert: Jennifer Cruse - 3/18/2001

Question
Hello Jennifer,
My fiance has expressed to me on many occasions that her breasts are too small. They are an "A" cup in size. She told me that her mother has always told her, since she was at the age she started to develop, that "...no man likes a girl with a small chest.". Her mom would even send her out to school everyday with a "stuffed" bra to make her look bigger. Needless to say, to this day my fiancee is quite sensitive about her breast size! In my opinion, her mother traumatized her into believing that she is inadequate in this area. As for me, I find "A" cup breasts VERY erotic and exciting and I have always told my fiancee this when the subject comes up. However, I kinda get the feeling that she thinks that I am just saying that to make her feel better. This couldn't be further from the truth! So, I guess my question would be what else can I do to make her feel more confident with her body and how can I make her FEEL that I truly love her breasts the way they are? Any help will be truly appreciated!!
Thank you!!

Answer
Dear Allen,
I'm sorry to here that she had to go through that, it's hard enough dealing with it on your own, let alone having your mother up your butt about it. It took my husband quite a long time to convince me that I was sexy even though I am flat chested, it's something that she will have to come to terms with herself. I think you are a wonderful person to care so much, she is very lucky to have a guy like you! I would say keep doing what you have been, like telling her how you feel, tell her when the two of you are being intimate, keep loving her for her. One of the things my husband told me was that boobs would get in the way of being as close to me as he could when we embraced and when we made love. Talk to her about what she thinks is sexy about herself, tell her she has to pick something. Try to help her focus on that part that she likes, if it's her butt, then suggest tight jeans, if it's legs, then suggest a short skirt or dress, you get the picture I'm sure. You are such a great guy, I wish you the best of luck, and if you want let your future wife know that I am here to help, if she wants to talk to someone who can relate or if you need someone to talk to about it:)
Good Luck
Jennifer