AboutRabbi Barry Dov Lerner Expertise Write to me with questions about Jewish customs and law, history,
philosophy and tradition for answers from a Conservative perspective or conversion. I am a graduate of The Jewish Theological Seminary and a member of the Conservative Rabbinical Assembly. Having served in congregational pulpits since 1970, I now am President of the Foundation For Family Education, Inc. a non-profit educational endeavor. I established it to create new formats of hands-on programs and provide free educational downloads at www.jewishfreeware.org. In addition to general informational questions I welcome your questions about programs for social action, outreach to dual-faith families, inter-faith clergy projects, healing services, education for conversion, adult education for the congregation and the community. If you have questions about Informal and Formal Education I am ready to share my extensive experience with Youth Activities, Camping and Religious School/Hebrew High School on a congregational, community and national/international level.
Experience I have served on the National Youth Commission for more than 25 years and serve on the Boards of the Conservative Zionist movement MERCAZ and the World Council of Synagogues. I have always dual-families and taught candidates for conversion with a great sense of fulfillment. I am very proud of 25 years on the Jewish camping staff of Camps Ramah. My greatest source of pride is my family! Ask me about them, please!:-)
Question I was raised a Catholic, got married in the United Church (similar to Reform) converted to Christianity...have since renounced Christianity (for several reasons). I am now at a loss as I have come to the conclusion that Judaism is my faith - yet I am not in a position to study. I have been to synagogue many times and quite enjoyed it, but have been advised not to pursue Judaism. I leave it alone for awhile then it keeps prodding on my mind until I come to terms again with my decision. I get all confused because I get told different things. My heart of hearts has rejected Catholicism and Christianity as I have done my own personal studies and realize my interuptations of the Bible is vastly different from what they teach. What do you think I should do? I am married. My husband and I are on the same page. He is upset because we have nowhere to go now and he holds Christianity responsible for taking away his comfort zone and leaving him with no place to go. We have children and grandchildren who have had a similar journey. What should I or can I do?
Answer Dear Marian,
Thank you for writing and providing such detail. You've made it much easier to be of assistance.
Because you and your husband are "on the same page," instruction for conversion ought not to be such a challenge.
Are you encountering difficulties because of where you live, distance from a synagogue or Rabbi, and so forth?
What "brand" of Rabbi have you discussed your religious issues with such that you were rejected? What reasons have been given you for denying you "entrance" to a Jewish identity/affiliation/lifestyle?
I've encountered this before, and so you shouldn't consider the "refusal" personal or individually directed. Some Rabbis hold literally to an old custom - regarded by many as law - that potential converts are to be "turned away three times." I don't, because I feel strongly that we ought to acknowledge the legitimate interest in our faith - for instruction/education even if at the end the choice is made not to formally convert.
Please let me know where you live - it's ok to be general - and if you wish to pursue this discussion off-line I can be reached at bdlerner1@gmail.com. My website has constructed materials that address the needs of dual-faith and conversionary families, including transliteration along with Hebrew and translation. You may want to check out Passover and the various materials.
