AboutRabbi Barry Dov Lerner Expertise Write to me with questions about Jewish customs and law, history,
philosophy and tradition for answers from a Conservative perspective or conversion. I am a graduate of The Jewish Theological Seminary and a member of the Conservative Rabbinical Assembly. Having served in congregational pulpits since 1970, I now am President of the Foundation For Family Education, Inc. a non-profit educational endeavor. I established it to create new formats of hands-on programs and provide free educational downloads at www.jewishfreeware.org. In addition to general informational questions I welcome your questions about programs for social action, outreach to dual-faith families, inter-faith clergy projects, healing services, education for conversion, adult education for the congregation and the community. If you have questions about Informal and Formal Education I am ready to share my extensive experience with Youth Activities, Camping and Religious School/Hebrew High School on a congregational, community and national/international level.
Experience I have served on the National Youth Commission for more than 25 years and serve on the Boards of the Conservative Zionist movement MERCAZ and the World Council of Synagogues. I have always dual-families and taught candidates for conversion with a great sense of fulfillment. I am very proud of 25 years on the Jewish camping staff of Camps Ramah. My greatest source of pride is my family! Ask me about them, please!:-)
Question We are Jewish parents who recently a adopted a non-Jewish baby boy, and live in Canada. We would like to convert him to Judaism. He has had a Bris done by our Orthodox Synagogue. They are saying that in order for him to be Jewish, we need to become fully kosher and observant amongst other things.
Does the Conservative synagogue follow the same Beth Din laws as Orthodox in Conversion of a Minor? What would be the requirements we would need to fulfill if we joined a Conservative Synagogue?
Answer Dear Sarah,
Thanks for writing and most importantly Mazal Tov.
I hope that you will read my entire response and understand that I am responding to the particulars of your questions.
If you are members of a synagogue, then that is the Rabbinic opinion which is binding for you; that is traditional protocol. As Orthodox members you are and should expect to be guided by Orthodox practice. This would include certainly being a fully kosher family and observant.
Are there members of Orthodox synagogues who choose to affiliate with an Orthodox congregation who do not fully observe kashrut in and out of the home or fully observant of the Jewish calendar cycle and life cycle rituals?
Would a Conservative Rabbi request of his congregation that they also observe Jewish life as described? Of course, and similarly for every synagogue I have ever known, visited or served - and in every moment with which I am familiar.
Each movement, "stream" or denomination has its ideal standards and expectations - but not every movement imposes its ideals on each affiliate - or can do so. Similarly, each synagogue tries to lead each member and member family to its ideal standards but can't always do so.
You would have to ask local Conservative Rabbis about their standards in your community to the extent they parallel or differ from local Orthodox conversion standards for a minor.
Now for some information:
Remember that this decision for conversion of a minor is more than your own choice of congregational affiliation: you are deciding for a child and setting the model for his growth and observance. His status as a Jew is the issue, and I would urge that you speak with your own Rabbi first about why this is a higher standard than ordinary affiliation with a synagogue.
The Orthodox rabbinate in the Diaspora are increasingly coming under the control and certainly the influence of the Israel Orthodox Rabbinate. This means that unless you conform to their Israeli standards - which limit who in Orthodoxy is acceptable to them for a valid conversion - the conversion may well be challenged by Israel authorities for purposes of aliyah and/or issues of personal status.
The Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist Israeli rabbinate have not sought or seem to be considering any such hegemony, and they do not accept the standards of the Orthodox.
The Orthodox standards recently have been made stricter. It seems that the courts/Batei Din in Israel are expecting that candidates for conversion live in an Orthodox, mentored life for 18 months or more before conversion and must continue for a number of years to live an Orthodox life after conversion. They also require parents of a minor adoptee and convert to observe a fully observant life before and after the conversion, I assume until the child matures to an adult - probably 18 more than just Bar Mitzvah age.
I would personally hope that you would not affiliate with a Conservative congregation just because the standards are less demanding upon your personal religious life. I would hope that you affiliate where you are personally most comfortable religiously - both in practice and in theology. I would hope that you not change your affiliation to effect a conversion while your heart is still in the Orthodox world, for that inconsistency will soon be apparent to your son and possibly confuse him spiritually; this would not be as healthy for him, or you or the Jewish People as we would prefer.
I personally believe as a Conservative Rabbi that an observant life is our ideal and should be our standard of expectation as well, but most of us believe that we need to bring in Jews non-judgmentally and guide them across time, experience, warmth, community and study to increasing observance and growth as a Jewish family.
You'll determine what the expectations of congregations are in your community.
Mazal Tov and best wishes for a life of blessing in a world of health and peace.
