AboutRabbi Barry Dov Lerner Expertise Write to me with questions about Jewish customs and law, history,
philosophy and tradition for answers from a Conservative perspective or conversion. I am a graduate of The Jewish Theological Seminary and a member of the Conservative Rabbinical Assembly. Having served in congregational pulpits since 1970, I now am President of the Foundation For Family Education, Inc. a non-profit educational endeavor. I established it to create new formats of hands-on programs and provide free educational downloads at www.jewishfreeware.org. In addition to general informational questions I welcome your questions about programs for social action, outreach to dual-faith families, inter-faith clergy projects, healing services, education for conversion, adult education for the congregation and the community. If you have questions about Informal and Formal Education I am ready to share my extensive experience with Youth Activities, Camping and Religious School/Hebrew High School on a congregational, community and national/international level.
Experience I have served on the National Youth Commission for more than 25 years and serve on the Boards of the Conservative Zionist movement MERCAZ and the World Council of Synagogues. I have always dual-families and taught candidates for conversion with a great sense of fulfillment. I am very proud of 25 years on the Jewish camping staff of Camps Ramah. My greatest source of pride is my family! Ask me about them, please!:-)
Question it is being widely acclaimed that in times past it was the custom of a master to fold his napkin during a meal time if he was to leave the table but intended to return but that if he were not going to return he would wad it up and toss it aside. is that true?? thank you for your time . . . i am non denominational
Answer Dear John,
Thanks for writing.
I must admit that this is an interesting question but that I am unfamiliar with this custom.
To the best of my knowledge there is nothing in current Jewish dining habits that would support such a thought.
You might try contacting the Library reference desk at The Jewish Theological Seminary - jtsa.edu - and see if someone has any knowledge of such a custom.
Leaving, however, raises a question to me: if someone were to leave a meal and not plan on returning, a better signal to the host would be that they pause to recite the blessing/Grace before actually leaving the table. It is sufficiently lengthy - and if a number of people are present he might well have asked that they answer the initial blessings - that it was obvious that he was not returning.
I doubt that a Sage would have left the dining table and not return without first reciting Grace after the meal.
But, that is conjecture as I am truly unfamiliar with this custom
If and when you get an answer from the Library or another source, please contact me and let me know the fruit of your research. In the meantime I am going to contact several colleagues and ask you question.
