Expert: Rabbi Barry Dov Lerner - 5/10/2010

Question
Rabbi,
My wedding ring has a phrase written in Hebrew ("This is he who my soul loves"). I had never thought about it until we recently attending a graduation and after they graduated the graduates turned their rings around 'to face the world'. Which way should the letters be facing on my ring and why? Thanks!

Answer
Dear Ovadiah,

Thanks for writing.

I must admit that I am unusually grateful for your question as I never thought about the "direction" of the inscribed portion of a verse from the Song of Songs. But it is a very interesting question, which I never considered before, and I hope you bear with me as I think it through with you.

I'm inclined to answer by looking at another Jewish item, the mezuzah. The mezuzah is obliquely mounted on the right-hand doorpost, with the top leaning "inwards." One of the "explanations" - which I believe is not a reason but a beautiful sermon/derash - is that the contents of the mezuzah written on parchment is to remind us how to relate with those at home, with wh -om we are most close.

Another "explanation" of the same caliber is that when we leave home, we see the mezuzah - and some even touch the mezuzah case and then kiss one's finger-tips in a gesture of respect and commitment - and are reminded to be one of God's "priests" bringing peace and harmony to all of God's creatures.

But note, the mezuzah leans inward and on the right as we enter the home. If it were truly to turn our hearts and minds to the world outside, it would be mounted on the right side of the door post as we exit our home and lean outwards - no? For whose benefit is the mezuzah placed on the doorpost - and in both cases we are reminded of the commandments of God and the ethical and moral principles we are obliged to also observe.

Hence, the placement of the wedding ring on our finger asks the same question: for whom is the inscription most intended?

My personal feeling is that the ring functions best when it "speaks" to the wearer.

First of all, a ring is really a "coin" that has a hole in it enabling us to wear the value of the marriage, intended moreso for the bride but now in an egalitarian act also is worn by the groom. The ring also is a signal that the wearer is married, perhaps another reason for a dual-ring ceremony.

And, until recently I suspect that the wedding rings were not inscribed as often as they are today, for bride or groom. That point I am going to check now and if I find any answer, I will forward them to you.

Secondly, I choose to believe that the ring is to remind the wearer of the covenant made between bride and groom, and hence it should be "readable" by the wearer, albeit the ring needs to be turned round to read the entire phrase.

Thirdly, if the inscription is on the "inside" of the ring, the side closest to the finger, then the question is somewhat moot, but in that case it would be clear that it is "closest" to the wearer than the observer.

Thus, I would wear an inscribed ring with the words facing me, the wearer.

Best wishes for 120 years of life and a joyful companionship. L'chaim.

Rabbi Dov