Expert: Rabbi Barry Dov Lerner - 1/9/2011

Question
We are expecting our first born very soon. After deep examination of the history of Bris Milah, review of health benefits and risks, and speaking to other Jews who have made the choice not to circumcise, I do not believe this is in our baby's interest. I would like to know what this would mean for our son raising him Jewish and through his lifetime. Many of my questions have been answered and much we would navigate as it comes up. I was just thinking about specific life and death events now. Is the fulfillment of Bris Milah a requirement to be buried in a Jewish cemetery? I understand that a son born to a Jewish mother is Jewish regardless. In this case both mother and father are both Jewish..all grandparents are... and we had an orthodox wedding ceremony. Is there another way to keep the covenant without actually removing the foreskin?  Can a lesser amount be removed?  Would his Judaism be questioned for other Jewish milestones like Bar Mitvah?

Answer
Dear New Momma,

First of all, thank you for writing.

Secondly, mazal tov and as we say in Hebrew, "b'sha-ah tovah," may all things happen at the "right time" for the mother and the baby!

Please forgive my delay as I was out of town for a long weekend, away from email, as a scholar-in-residence for a congregation/community. I hope you will indeed forgive me.

I have a few questions to establish an informed context before I can offer guidance although I have dealt with this question quite frequently.

I would like to know more about your family, e.g. are you both Jewish, are you members of a synagogue, where are you located such that I may know of a colleague or resource who can offer face-to-face answering of questions, what are the feelings of your respective parents, and what research have you consulted that would lead you to feel as you currently do.

Thanks a lot and as soon as I hear from you, I will respond.

Rabbi Dov