Expert: Rabbi Barry Dov Lerner - 1/30/2006

Question
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Followup To
Question -
I am a relatively observant conservative Jew and have a question about the official conservative movement's stand on the semi-mourning  period that has been assocaited with the period of the counting of the omer.  I am asking this not only in regrard to weddings, and hair cutting but in regard to large dinner/dancing celebrations in general, for example as part of a celebration of becong a bar/bat mitzvah and/or large anniversary or birthday celebration. (I am okay with not keeping this question private as long as my name and email information is kept private.  Thank you.)_
Answer -
Dear Elaine,

Thanks for writing.

However, as an observant Conservative Jew is there a reason for asking me on-line rather than asking your Rabbi or resourcing Rabbi Isaac Klein's "A Guide to Jewish Religious Practice?"

Any other reasons for asking?

Rabbi Dov

Very interesting and insightful answer - For starters, I  am asking online as one objective source for an answer.  This subject has been discussed with our rabbi a bit but I am interested to know if there are other interpetations of conservative practice in this regard.  My "other reason" for asking is in regard to scheduling a bat mitzvah celebration during that time.  I tried to ask the question to you without this specific information to try to get a more general answer that I could then follow-up on.  Since you asked though, this in the main reason for  my present inquiry. As for Klein's book, I have read excerpts on from the book on this subject but not the entire discussion, which may be a good idea.  Either way, I wrote to you online before I read even those excerpts, again, because I happened to find your site and it seemed like an interesting way to get another(or perhaps the same) view.  

Thnaks.  I look forward to hearing form you again.

Elaine  

Answer
Dear Elaine,

Thanks for your candid follow-up. My experience has been that often when members of a congregation don't agree with their Rabbi's decision or congregational policy, they look for other interpretations and practices.

Please understand that some Rabbis will do anything a congregant wishes to keep a position, while other Rabbis have principles and backbone. Some Congregations allow congregants' wants to rule the roost - or worse yet only the very wealthy - while other congregations have standards and policies that are applied across the board.

Jewish protocol requires that no Rabbi ever contradict the rulings or interpretations of another, and certainly not knowingly.

I appreciate your concern for your daughter's simcha and the time of year, but I would like to believe that when the family understands the issues - and you certainly can reach out to your Rabbi again for the traditions related to his standards - then it will be a meaningful Jewish moment for her and for your family. Who would want a moment marred by forcing inauthenticity upon such an important life cycle event? I am sure that upon reflection you will understand my position - and I hope you will agree.

Best wishes and mazal tov

Rabbi Dov