Conservative Judaism/Marriage customs

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Expert: - 9/4/2004


Question
Hello, I am a 21 year old Christian (no denomination) and I am asking this question to try to help me to prepare a part/scene for a Christmas presentation. So I was wondering what an Israelite bride would do to prepare herself to be a wife during the time of the betrothal. Or if you would really like to get specific, what Mary might have been doing when the Angel Gabriel came to her with the news that she would birth Christ, the savior of the world?

Answer
Dear Amanda,

Thanks for writing.

The simplest explanation is that between betrothal and then chuppah=living together as husband and wife she would be preparing her supply of household items, e.g. utensils, flatware, garments, woven goods, and similarly - but all of the most common and ordinary type.

Otherwise, check with Roman sources of that time and you'll have a sense of what the woman would be doing.

Regarding her actions as you describe them, they are an article of Christian belief. Jews see Mary and Jesus as Jews who lived and died as Jews, under Roman occupation. Their role as religious figures was a development of later Christian leaders and synods.

Best wishes

Rabbi Dov

Conservative Judaism

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Rabbi Barry Dov Lerner

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Write to me with questions about Jewish customs and law, history, philosophy and tradition for answers from a Conservative perspective or conversion. I am a graduate of The Jewish Theological Seminary and a member of the Conservative Rabbinical Assembly. Having served in congregational pulpits since 1970, I now am President of the Foundation For Family Education, Inc. a non-profit educational endeavor. I established it to create new formats of hands-on programs and provide free educational downloads at www.jewishfreeware.org. In addition to general informational questions I welcome your questions about programs for social action, outreach to dual-faith families, inter-faith clergy projects, healing services, education for conversion, adult education for the congregation and the community. If you have questions about Informal and Formal Education I am ready to share my extensive experience with Youth Activities, Camping and Religious School/Hebrew High School on a congregational, community and national/international level.

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I have served on the National Youth Commission for more than 25 years and serve on the Boards of the Conservative Zionist movement MERCAZ and the World Council of Synagogues. I have always dual-families and taught candidates for conversion with a great sense of fulfillment. I am very proud of 25 years on the Jewish camping staff of Camps Ramah. My greatest source of pride is my family! Ask me about them, please!:-)

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