Expert: Rabbi Barry Dov Lerner - 10/27/2004

Question
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Followup To
Question -
Rabbi,
I have been raised via strict (not orthodox) bene israeli jewish traditions.  But I have been feeling a calling towards christianity,  it just creates so much turmoil b/c i was raised not to believe in christianity, and i feel i will be letting down my ancestry (family in israel, holocaust victims, etc.)  please help...
Answer -
Dear John,

Thanks for writing, but in order to be helpful I would need some additional information.

For example, what is "strict (not orthodox) bene israeli jewish traditions" - bene Israel meaning Jews of India?

How were you raised,Jewishly educated,  where and for how long, in a Jewish family or inter-faith, etc. How old are you and how long have you been practicing - and to what extent - your Jewish observances, rituals, etc.

Who is offering the information about Christianity and where and for what reasons, stated or unstated?

Looking forward to a complete background, I am

Rabbi Dov

Thank you for getting back with me Rabbi,
When I said strict, I meant always forced to observe but never explained to what I was observing.  My father was always so militant and abusive about judaism, and I couldn't help but feel it was forced onto me.  I can mostly compare my upbringing with the jewish version of "catholicism" whereby we are always repentant and "sad".  I was born in Israel, grew up in New York, and basically observed the "big" holidays like Yom Kippur, Passover, etc.  I am thirty and for most of my adult life, I have not been observant.  

As far is the information on Christianity, I understand it is an "evangelical" religion, but since I was basically force fed religion when I was growing up, I would never attempt to "convert" anybody.  I have researched christianity by literature, attending churches, talking with people from all different denominations, etc.  SOmething just calls me toward it...  But my guilt is overwhelming me...

Answer
Dear John,

Thanks for the background.

From your name I never would have guessed that your family came from Israel.

It is not unusual, especially for Israelis and Orthodox, to impose behavior without adequate explanations and aesthetics upon family members. It is the notion of Jewish law being the final goal while feelings, ideas, values, family, community, etc. are virutally ignored.

My own suspicion is that having themselves been raised this way if challenged they would be woefully inadequate in explaining or defending their own observance - hence an even greater reaction to be "abusive" sometimes in forcing Jewish practice down the throat.

Christianity is a belief system I couldn't ever accept- no matter how warm and caring the church people themselves might be. A God who sends down "himself" incarnate as his own son to be killed because the humanity he created was fundamentally evil from before birth? Faith without deeds? Virgin birth? And when we study the history of religion we see how Christianity  began as Judaism, was drawn to paganism and Gnosticism over the centuries. And, I studied Christianity very deeply - "just in case" when I began my own studies after having been pre-med in college.

Try reading "Judaism and Christianity: The Differences" by Trude Weis Rosmarin.

Try finding a Rabbi and congregation where they do share your needs and wants for a sensitive, informed, welcoming environment. If you can, tell me where you live and I'll try to find a colleague who would be willing to reach out to you.

Christianity is a wonderful faith, I am told - but it is for Christians. We can bring a time of messianic achievement as Jews just as effectively in my opinion. But Judaism is for us.

Lastly, consider Jews for Judaism website, and although it also is an orthodox and rather "rigorous" there may be information there for you that may be of help.

Best wishes and good luck

Rabbi Dov