Contraception and VD/HIV Scare/Anxiety


Hello, recently I have been having a HIV scare. 3 years ago I had a Girlfriend. We broke up about 2 years ago but over the course of the year we practiced Safe sex (never penetration without condom. Only act without a condom was oral sex, or Genital Rubbing) every week for about 5 months. As of 8 months ago I have a new GF who I also have Safe Sex (follow the same boundaries)with once every week or two, and recently I have been becoming obsessed with HIV and convincing myself I have it.

Both girls (and myself going into first GF) were virgins before our sexual acts. Essentially my Anxiety has been pretty bad over the course of a month; First I Had arm aches and chest aches, Cold Prickly feeling on arms and legs, burning throat, Google'd, and convinced myself I had a oncoming heart attack, Got chest X-Rays and everything and was fine and essentially had stomach acid reflux from all the stress and anxiety. Next I started paying attention to a discolored mark on my penis. Google'd, thought I had an STD, went to doctors and they told me the skin looks 100% healthy and the discolored could just been from fungi that had eaten away at the skin (forget the exact medical term -have had fungi issues in the past). Third was when I got a small cut on scrotum with a pair of scissors. Bled a lot, but convinced myself I had tetanus after I google'd. Jaw ached and tongue was in discomfort for about a week, essentially my reflux came back from the stress. This recently faded away as the cut got better. As of 5 or so days ago I got a tiny soar throat/feeling sorta achy and started getting HIV on my mind (google'd symptoms and all). Since then I've been feeling tired (Go to bed at 4am wake up at 1pm opposed to like 12pm or 11:30, getting tired randomly throughout the day), got the muscle aches back on, feeling quite gassy, no appetite, got the night sweats, feeling the acid reflux type stuff from the first scare, and a few more minor things (ex. Scared about my eczema and linked it to me having HIV/AIDS because it has popped up since I have became sexually active 2 years ago).

The first the question is - am I just going overboard about the whole HIV Scare. I know deep down I cant possibly have it (never had unprotected vaginal/anal sex) but it still terrifies me and I would rather put my mind at rest getting an answer from a doctor online then spending 40$ on a testing kit that will be negative.

The Final question is, how can I curb this anxiety? It has been so intense the past month its seriously getting physically unhealthy (making my self sick, lost a few pounds).

I think to curb your anxiety you will have to take the test. I don't know about the test you are talking about. Is it reliable? Or you can go to a local doctor and get tested. I don't know how you could have HIV if both your sexual partners were virgins. It's possible that you can get from a blood transfusion. Also, there is really no such thing as "safe sex". Sex with condoms is not 100% safe. I would advise you not to have oral sex or regular sex until you are married. Get tested and let me know what happens. Good luck!

Diane W.

Contraception and VD

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I will be out of town for a few days and won't be able to answer questions. If you would like to email me, you may do so at and I will answer on my return. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each method of birth control? I can answer questions about the various forms of contraception/birth control. I have knowledge about condoms, Nuvaring, Depo provera, the Patch, birth control pills, IUD, etc. I can answer some questions about sexually transmitted diseases.


I have 25 years experience with counseling women about contraception methods and STDs.

25 years of volunteering and counseling young women. I volunteer with a local pregnancy resource center and have an internet ministry.

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