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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Senior Living > Coping with Loneliness > What to do about being lonely when your not alone...
Expert: Andrew
Date: 5/13/2008
Subject: What to do about being lonely when your not alone...
Question
I don't know if you can classify me as lonely or not, but I have been married now for 4 years and the feeling has not gone away. It just seems no matter what I do, I just feel like he isn't connecting with me. I always tell him to be on the same page as me...he's not one to understand emotions and how they have effected me in our relationship. He just thinks if we talk about it, it's done, and theres no more problems. He works days and goes to school on Mondays and Wednesdays but doesn't seem to try to find romantic time with me which is needed in relationships.
For instance, having sex is not very common with us except on the weekends. He is always too tired or isn't willing to when I'm ready. It just seems like we are never on the same page. When he's willing to do something, I'm not ready, and vice versa.
It all boils down to my loneliness, I wouldn't need him so much all the time to fulfill every need if I had a support group or friends, which are few and far between.
Can someone help me solve my dilemma.
Hurt and Frustrated
Answer
Hi Vivian,
Sorry to hear you are going through a rough time with the marriage. It sounds like your husband has a busy schedule and is finding it difficult to make time for the marriage in between work and school, this is rather common. The best thing to do is when you can talk to him, be sure to let him know that you are feeling like you don't count and you two should spend a day " just for the two of you", to out to dinner together or do something that both of you enjoy so you can remember how you felt about each other and how important it is to spend time with each other.
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