Coping with Loss/loss of son

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Question
I dont know how to go on . I was very close to my son how do i go on when i am so lost?r2eyp

Answer
Bonnie, I am so very sorry to take this long to answer your post.  We were in transition with a cross country move, and I am just catching up with re-stored internet connection now.  My apologies.  I completely forgot to put my space here in vacation mode.  

And my whole heart to you for your son's death.  Sometimes after our children die, it is just a real experience for us that we don't know how to go on because we can't see how or what or anything...the best we can do is take the next breath, the next step.  That's okay.  Much of my experience comes from the deaths of my own sons and working with other bereaved parents, and sometimes, it is also just that the reality of living without them physically here is so new, that we don't have any vision yet for how and what or anything.  The experience of their deaths and our emotional responses are so much that we are just exhausted and couldn't possibly know how or what or anything yet.  It's okay.  Be as gentle and kind to you as you possibly can.  Rest in the I Don't Know and allow yourself the time and space needed to tend your heart.

There are many supports for bereaved parents out there.  If you haven't already checked some of these out, please do -- as you have the energy to do so -- because I think you might find the experiences of other bereaved parents can show you some of the how's and what's that other people  have taken/done/tried.  Not to say their answers will be your answers, but just to see ideas, models for what possibilities might be. Here are a few starting points:

http://www.glowinthewoods.com/

http://stillstandingmag.com/

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx

http://www.griefwatch.com/

http://www.friendsalongtheroad.org/

Please know that you aren't alone in the "I Don't Know" and that there are others out here taking the next step and next breath as they come.  I hope this is a helpful start.  If I can help with any more specific follow up questions, please don't hesitate to write again, okay?

Sending many supportive vibes your way,
~Kara

Coping with Loss

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Kara L.C. Jones

Expertise

My specialty is using creativity to address grief, loss, and death issues. Creativity is not necessarily about being an artist, but rather about being willing to let go what we think we know and get a different perspective using creative tools such as writing, drawing, body mapping, painting, smashing, wrecking, mosaic, heART journal,and many other techniques. I can answer questions about how to have permission to grieve in your own way, how to become your own best advocate as you learn to live life again, how to approach a creative way of being even when you think you are not creative. Afterall, it takes a lot of creativity to find reasons to get out of bed the day after someone you love has died. I am glad to answer any questions about how to embrace that creative approach when we otherwise feel totally tapped out by the grief experience.

Experience

For 14 years, I've been studying grief and creativity specifically and have been part of bringing the emerging field of grief and creativity to the fore in our world. I worked for a decade with the MISS Foundation offering support to families around the world who are enduring the death of a child due to any cause from miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, accident, disease, suicide, whatever the case. I also co-founded The Creative Grief Studio with Cath Duncan from Remembering For Good as a brand new vision on the training, accountability, and development of the Grief Coaching and helping professionals fields. And probably most important, I've endured the death of three of my own sons and am always learning to live creatively with that reality. For more information, see: http://www.motherhenna.com/about.htm

Organizations
The Creative Grief Studio, Grief & Creativity groups on both LinkedIn and G+

Publications
See: http://www.motherhenna.com/seen.htm

Education/Credentials
Graduate of Carnegie Mellon University, Three-year Mentorship with Fred Rogers and Hedda Sharapan of FCI producers of Mister Rogers Neighborhood, Certified Reiki Master-Teacher, Certified Whole Systems and AI Coach (key model being The Hero's Journey)

Past/Present Clients
Confidentiality and a sense of ethics will not allow me to share private client information ever! If you are interested in testimonials from people who have worked with me and given full permission for me to share their experiences, please see: http://www.motherhenna.com/grief.htm

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