Coping with Loss/My mother passed away
Daughter of One of Heaven's Newest Angels wrote at 2007-03-10 00:37:52
I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my mom just over 1 month ago. I miss her and think of her every second of everyday. I am 41 my mother was only 59. She was my very best friend. I have found that if I try to do what my mother wanted I feel she can still see me and be proud. I sometimes want to give up but when I see my mom again I don't want her to be let down that I gave up. We will met again until then I just keep all of her memories so very close. Hang in there it takes a long time so I am told but just remember she still loves you and would want nothing more than to watch you be okay.
Dorothy wrote at 2007-03-29 02:13:00
The worst thing in life that a human being can experience is having your mother die. My mother also just passed of ovarian cancer on 3.18.07. She passed peacefully in her sleep; I am thankful that the last week of her life, my employer game me 2 days off and I spent the time with my mother; We laughed, talked,and relaxed on her journey toward end of life (hospice); I love my mother very very much and we were so close; I will never get over the loss of my mother and no one, nothing, no words, etc. can ever replace her. When my mother died, a part of me also died; Yes, I know she is in heaven looking down on me and yes, I want to be with her; She was my best friend, and was ALWAYS there for me no matter what; We had our good and bad times, but no matter what, MOM was always there right or wrong; I miss her smile, her words of wisdom, and just miss her all together. I know I will see her again but in the meantime, I will hold on to her last smile that she gave me the day before she passed. She was a wonderful person who would not harm anyone. She was very kind hearted.
Anne wrote at 2007-05-29 16:04:52
Wow, you had a beautiful write up. My mother passed away on May 18, 2007 at 4:30 pm from Nasopharangeal Cancer - cancer of the ear, nose, and throat. She never smoked and was very healthy. I am 26 and she was 54. It is very difficult. Today if my first day back to work. I lived with her and do not want to go home to an empty house after work today. My heart is broken. She was my best friend. I feel very alone, lost, and confused. It was unexpected, she was getting better but a second round of Chemo wiped out her immune system. I can't believe she's gone and wish with all my heart she wasn't gone. I love her so much and miss her so much. Also, due to work, I didn't spend as much time with her as I wish, I should have made her a higher priority. I feel very guilty about arguments I had with her. I am very sad and wish I could apologize and make it all OK. I know I love her and she loved me, but I would still like to talk to her. She was one in a million, I am so lucky to have had such a special mom.
Peter wrote at 2007-12-13 02:09:22
I lost my mother late April ' 07 and although she was 91 the age is not a factor due to the fact we lived together and she was all I had. She left a tremendous void not only as I return to an empty house after work but as far as a comnpanion.
You lose that comfort zone so much more once the 2nd parent is gone. I do beleive in after death communication as my father came to me in a visitation dream after he passed and I'm sure mom will do same one day.
Nancy wrote at 2008-01-01 18:36:47
I just lost my mother my best friend two and a half months ago. The experience has been like a tsunami and sometimes I am drowning in my tears. The pain is devasting and I am reaching out for help. I have listen to grief council and truly agree with the need for additional help in special unique situations that are more common than I knew. When you start to share the pain it somehow dissipates. Support and surrounding your self with love and positive environment is the key. you cannot and don't have to do it by yourself. God bless
Tina wrote at 2008-09-25 20:05:51
I also lost my mom (my best friend) 5 months ago. It is still VERY hard. People tell me that my mom is with me. My mom can't be with me because if she saw me cry, then she would cry and there is to be NO sadness in Heaven? I hope it gets easier because it has NOT.
Temika wrote at 2009-02-23 05:11:35
I lost my mother June of 08 so now it's been 8 months. I think about her everyday and I cry off of certain songs. I have now accept the fact that she is in a much better place and one day we all have to go. It's sometimes hard for me to explain it to my kids, it's sometimes hard to even know how I feel. When I am driving alone I have noticed that I seem to go into a daze because it's like I wish I could drive to her. I have visited the cemetery one time sense she passed, that was hard too. It wasn't the same. I mean the only thing for us to do is pray and know that our mother's are in a better place and we will meet again.
JoAnn wrote at 2009-04-02 18:07:57
I am glad I found this site. I feel like Kris? I just lost my mommy (my last parent) she has been my rock and love for 52 of my years. I have a beautiful daughter two grown sons two brothers and a wonderful loving husband. I still can't feel like I'm going to ever be a whole person again. Mommy died on the 25 of March 09 in her sleep. I know she is better off but I'm not. I feel so selfish because I want her to come back. I want her with me. I just want to be with her . My heart is broken. I will never be the same. That is how I feel. The words don't seem to help me either. I know people mean well and may be right. It just doesn't help . I've said that but I'm asking for help. Thank you.
mumma was my othere half wrote at 2009-06-18 06:17:10
i lost my mom eieght months ago when she passed i was in shock dident really cry and was in shut down mode when my birthday and mothers day same i lost it i loved my mom my best friend my othere half so much and i have never been in a more cinfussed state in my life my aunt told me groth is never easy some how my mom made it easy god i miss her and wish i could have one more day love her lots
jacqueline wrote at 2009-08-12 06:51:59
Your words are so beautiful. Blessed be the mothers that are loved as much as you loved your mom. Your are a beautiful, caring and loving person. I only wish that my children will speak of me, as you have your mother, when my time has come to an end. Life will treat you well as you are very deserving of it. Take care, Jacq
deb wrote at 2010-02-02 00:42:18
I to lost my mom a few weeks ago. She was 82. I am 49. Each time I try to talk about the loss, tears run down my face and words cease to come out. I cry driving to work in the morning and coming home in the afternoon. I have this terrible empty feeling inside. It's the feeling you get when you are a child and you loose your mom for that spit second in a big department store or supermarket. But this feeling doesn't go away, because I know she isn't coming around the corner to find me. My mom was always such a constant in my life. I could talk to her about anything and she had this unconditional love for everyone she met. She was truly a saint and was filled with so much love for everyone and not just those close to her. I can only hope that my children feel as much love from me as I did from her.
Kim wrote at 2010-04-13 19:52:03
I to have just lost my mom 5 months ago. Very unexpected. She was my everything. We spoke on the phone several times a day and would see each other most every day. I am lost without her. I am 54 years old and feel like a 5 year old lost in the park. I know one day I will be with her again but I to, just want her to be with me now. Nothing is the same without her. She left us on the 16th of November very suddenly without notice. I will never recover. I miss my mom. I am seeing 2 doctors taking their medicine but nothing seems to help. I am reaching out to those who can help me.
Siani wrote at 2010-05-09 21:04:59
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, my mum died too on the 25th November 2009. I know exactly how you are feeling, my mum also died suddenly without warning, she was 71. We were close and a part of me died with her.
amethyst wrote at 2010-05-21 13:42:03
I'm 41, and have lost my mother two years ago. The pain still lingers in my heart. She was not only my mother, but best friend. I miss her dearly! I have no parents now, and the world around me just seems so different now. I don't think it matters how old you are, loosing your mother makes you feel like a child again, the grieving lingers. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, or miss her, or see or hear something to remind me of her. I'm hoping with time, my heart will heal. I am so blessed to come across this site, it helps to read everyones posts, at times I feel alone, and that no one really knows what I am going through. My heart goes out to you all!
Les wrote at 2010-08-08 16:55:58
Hi...I am 40 now and lost my mum two years ago now on the 10th August 2008. It still hurts every day but am glad it does as this proves how strong my relationship was with my mum. If I didn't care much I wouldn't feel like i do and in some way that comforts me!! I know i took it hard when she went but i was with her and i'm pleased about that as she said she didn't want to be on her own when she went. It did take some time to get the picture of her out of my head when she actually passed as it was not my mum as I know her. The feeling in the room was different and I knew she had gone, I told my sister "come on" we can go now she isn't here anymore!! You feel guilt, hate, confusion, pain etc and this is all in the process of loosing someone but you don't understand that at the time, your just hurting, can't see it getting any better etc but it does get better and it will make you stronger, some say you never grow up properly till you loose your mum and I would agree with that really, you always know she is there, it's the only one that can shout at you or give you stern words when needed that can actually get away with it..Lol. I still miss her like mad as she was always here for me. I hope I will meet her again one day so I can tell her how much I have missed her. Make time for things today not leave it till tomorrow as they may not be here, that goes for us all i guess.
Jubilee wrote at 2010-08-17 20:33:00
I lost my mother nearly six months ago and the posts on this site have really helped me to cope. I do not believe that any of my close friends have really been there for me as I would have liked, but I know it is because they do not understand. It is not possible to fully understand until it happens to you. Some came from very far away to be by my side during the funeral process, but that's where it ended for them; but not for me. The pain has definitely lessened over the past few months, but it is still there. Les shared that it took some time to get the picture of her mother out of her head. I'm glad to hear it because after six months, the picture of my mother is as clear as if I saw her yesterday. My brother was at my parents house when my mother died quite unexpectedly. He told me not to go into her room and look at her, but I had to for myself. I wouldn't have it any other way, but the memory keeps my awake most nights. My mother and I had our ups and downs, but I always knew in my heart that she loved me and my children more than even she ever could ever express. That is what makes it so hard. My children were 2 and 3 1/2 when she died, and they will never remember her. She was so beautiful and always so much fun!!! My heart will ache for her as long as I live. I do hope that I will see her again one day.
Roxy wrote at 2010-09-04 17:41:42
My mother passed away on 1st of July 2009.I feel so alone without her ,nothing on this world could replace her.We were very close,I was the only child and I lost my father 4 years ago.There is more pain now,and I don't see any solution.
I missed her so much,she was the dearest mother in the world,so kind and beautiful.I lost with her a part of my soul,my heart.I should want to be with her.
I want to fly but my wings are broken
I want to enjoy but i have no reason,
My heart is broken,my soul hearts me,
But my only hope is to see her again,to be together for ever,
Shahzad wrote at 2010-09-24 05:49:20
Shahzad Hashmi at 2010-09-23
I lost my beloved mother on 2009-06-22, she was in Pakistan, was diabetic, I couldnt meet her for the last time, hope to meet her one day when its my turn!
Ron wrote at 2010-10-14 19:46:43
I lost my Mother suddenly on Oct 11,2010 . The loss of your last parent is more than I can describe .My heart is broken and it seems a part of me died to .I'm 46 and the youngest of 4 children .I pray she is with my father and one day I will see them again.
cc wrote at 2010-12-16 18:26:10
I lost my mom to liver cancer on Nov. 11, 2010. She was 71 years old and the light of my life. Although we weren't the hugging or telling each other we loved each other all the time we just knew it without the motions or saying it. I cry every day and wonder if it will ever stop. I feel like part of me died with her and there are times when I just want to be with her again. We were very close, talked every day on the phone sometimes several times a day, went shopping, out to eat and the list goes on. I'm trying and hopefully it will get easier as time goes on.
Jubilee wrote at 2011-01-03 22:19:10
Message to cc and all of the others:
I wrote a message a few months ago and I want to let you know that it does get better. It has been since March 10th and I can now think of her and not cry. That's is not to say I don't cry ever over her. I had a very hard time moving on after her death. I held on to a lot of her things for a long time and finally realized that they were just things. My mother always dressed beautifully, and I didn't want to throw all of her clothes in a bag on the porch for Goodwill. I finally called someone that I had worked with several years back and asked her if she would want to come look at her things and possibly take some home with her. I don't even know her all that well; I just knew she always looked sharp like my mother had. She came to my house and she was like a kid in a candy store. She took almost everything and was so gracious and kind. It made me feel so much better knowing that her things would be loved by someone else. This Christmas was very hard for me without my mother but we made it through. It gets better each day, but I will not tell you that the heavy-hearted feeling ever goes away completely. One of my mother's closest friends died the other day and I was actually glad she wasn't around since it would have made her so heartbroken. I feel so bad for my father since he is so lost without her, but I make sure I call him often and let him know I am always here for him. I wish there were some way to get through to the people we know in our lives and let them know to cherish every moment they have with their loved ones. I have always known people who have had family members die, but until it happens to you, you have no idea of the toll it takes on you. I look around now knowing that at some point everyone loses people in their lives and the only thing you can do is cherish them while they are here and speak of them often when they are gone. I wish you all the strength to get through your grief.
arouk wrote at 2011-02-05 21:42:31
My mum lived in a warden controlled home and after Dad passed away in 2001 I become her sole support.There is a fallacy that in the indian culture everyone relies around.Yes people do visit but they all got their lives abroad etc.The nearest have to do(and carers) it unless they are lucky enough to have a good partner which is rare nowadays and off course the pace of life,independence etc.I took her to the park in the summer.Brought her to my house on the weekends if the wife was happy.Took her to the community centre and tried to give her quality of life.She couldnt control her functions the last few years and wouldnt move.The social services said they wouldnt do it without her permission.She was scared of change and no amount of persuasion worked.I was with her all the time and used to tear my hair out,with the sisters ringing from abroad persuading her not to move because they like staying there in holidays.Sometimes when in despair I was unkind because even at night she would ring continously,the poor women had dementia too.Only when she was diagnosed wrongly with cancer they moved her to a pallative unit.she died 2 years ago and I was with her all the time.A knife goes through my heart when I think of her.Somedays I feel guilty that I couldnt find enough people to surround her with love.Nowadays nobody cares and I hope I die on my legs.
Judy wrote at 2011-02-18 09:33:33
My darling I understand your loss (my Mum passed away 3 months ago) I too have become engulfed in sadness and despair. I tried to explain it to my husband. It's like being out at sea, as soon as I manage to come up for a gulp of air I am smacked in the head with another wave of grief and I am forced to go back into the abyss.
I'm trying to change the way I think. (It works sometimes) every time the wave hits me I say to myself. There will come a time in my journey of grief when I think of Mum instead of sadness I will smile because a happy memory will fill my heart. I try to match the sad memory with one of smiles, happiness or warmth.
It doesn't always work but when it does it makes me happy. Hope it works sometimes for you too.
Cash Murray wrote at 2011-02-23 23:56:38
Some believe only a mother can understain the sacrifice that God made by giving his son to save our souls. It's hard to let go when your mother who has sacrificed for you has gone to greener pastures. But know she walks with God now as you will someday too. Do not think of her as gone but preparing for your arrival.
Fran wrote at 2011-04-22 18:42:02
Thank u for these post..my mom died exactly 2 months ago and i'm still going through so many emotions. Today is angry day and after reading you guys post i know i need to let it go. She was truly a saint..loved her family and showed it through words and deeds. I feel so sad and lost and like its not going to get easier. My husband and children are wonderful and supportive and i know they miss her too but i just cant seem to get past this. Her dr. in NC kept telling her she had bronchitis..well after i asked her to see another dr. she has stage IV lung cancer that had spread to her liver, kidney and brain. she died 44 days after being diagnosed. I am happy that we all got to spend those last days with her, my brother, niece kids etc. I washed her daily, changed her, fed her just like she use to do for me as a kid..it was a privilege to take care of her. I know she didn't want to live like that..and she passed away so peacefully just as she lived her life..in peace. I just want her back..thats all..i just want her back.
bamby wrote at 2011-07-23 00:20:46
Delighted to have found this post. I too lost my mother and best friend 7 weeks ago and the longing just to see her at times is unbearable. She was ready to go and I was delighted that her suffering was over. I have black days and I cant concentrate on anything at times. My youngest was seven weeks. She got to hold him but I wish they had had the opportunity to know each other. I love you Mum.
Mahmuda wrote at 2011-08-19 22:23:44
I just visited this site and read some of the messages with tears. I lost my mom many years ago in 1993. She could not survive her breast cancer and she was only 43 when she reluctantly left this world. I was 27 at that time and already had my own family. Nevertheless, the pain was unbearable at the early days of her departure, I found it hard to believe that she was no more. I used to have a craving to touch her, talk to her, see her... That time I used to feel suffocated by the thought that I will never be able to see her again in my life...many times I imagined that she was talking to me, smiling at me and that her voice would echo in my ear...
Over these years I accepted that she is gone and I've learnt to live without her..., She now lives in my heart and I often talk to her when I am confused or heart-broken and need my mom's comfort.
Rebecca wrote at 2011-09-02 22:52:09
I lost my mother when back in '97, I was only 3 and yet I remember her and i break my heart every time I think about her, she died of Ovarian cancer on the 4th of septembre, but anyway enough about me, I just wanted to tell you that the pain never goes away, it eases, and I'm glad I still hurt, because it shows that I love her very much, ill be praying for strength for you all x.
Jackie wrote at 2011-10-07 04:37:56
My mom, my best friend died on 25 August 2011 ~ 43 days ago...not a second goes by that she is not on my mind...the pain is unbearable at times. The grief is overwhelming...I feel do all alone in the world without her. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in April this year and just 5 months later she was gone. She fought for her life but the cancer won. She told me to stay strong for my kids (11 & 13 years old). If it weren't for them I would want to be dead just so that I could be with her! My life will never, ever be the same again...oh how I miss my mom...I want her to come to me in a dream but it hasnt happened yet...I'm so depressed ~ can't eat...can't sleep...I miss you mom!
Moshe wrote at 2012-01-10 16:23:30
My mother passed on on the 23rd of December 2011. I am still very raw & feel empty & that living is pointless. I was her carer for the last few years & a year & a half ago I left my job to look after her full time.
I have felt her come back & be with me on ocasions since she died & she seemed to be happy. I just hope that is real & not just my wishful thinking.
I dreamed about her last night.
She was 85 years old & died of Pneumonia. I am thinking of her all the time & crying frequently
Sarah wrote at 2012-11-14 06:07:02
I'm 23 and I lost my mum 4 months ago. I'm no stranger to loss as I've grown up loosing people I love, my dad when I was 5, both my granddads, my auntie just a few years ago. And now my mum! But things are different this time, now it's my mum. Sure I had problems growing up with the loss of my dad and others along the way. But none if that felt as bad as I do now. When I'm not feeling utter dispair and over whelming sadness I just feel 'absent' nothing just empty. Also physically I just feel rubbish, I keep getting ill and feel tired and with no energy. I don't see any of this changing and in some ways I don't want it to.
With everyone else I lost I never thought I would loose my mum so young as well
Jubilee wrote at 2012-11-27 15:42:19
Oh Sarah, I want you to know it does get easier although lately I've been having trouble with energy as well. I think it is the holidays. Don't be ashamed to tell your doctor about your feelings. They might be able to give you something to help. I totally understand what you said about not wanting the sad feelings to go away. Feeling sad makes you feel like you are honoring your mother. It's not. She would want you to be happy and try to remember the good times and laughs that you had with her. I know that doesn't seem possible now, but in time it will be. I miss my mom so much it hurts, but I love to talk about her with friends and family. I hope you have people around you that can support you through this terrible time. The first year is the worst and you are a third of the way there. What always amazes me is that so many other people have gone through the same thing and they are ok, so I think I will be as well. You are so young and my heart breaks that have had to deal with so much loss.
Josh wrote at 2013-04-13 00:40:14
I lost my Mom May 24th 2003....She was 43..unexpected death in her sleep....I am still hurt...the void is and always will be there...She was my everything. I still want her here with me for just one more hug and kiss so I can say goodbye :'( The only thing that will close this wound is hearing from her that she is ok....So for a Mothers son, it doesn't get better, only tolerated, Josh
Marvette wrote at 2013-07-11 22:19:17
I lost my MOTHER a month ago, and everyday had been a struggle. She was the most precious person in my life. I feel like that I can't move forward move and stop grieving. She was always there for me and my siblings, she was the Matriarch of our family. I cry everyday, I want nothing more than to see her one more time. She suffered for over a year and a half with with severe lung disease and passed from pneumonia. I feel like I have no purpose in life without her and any day I'll be ready to join her, even though I have a college bound son. My heart is broken and I don't know what to do to get passed this very very difficult time. I know it will take a lot of time and my mother would want me to continue on with living a righteous life. This is the most difficult thing I ever had to do. Pray for me. My mother is in a better place with no suffering.
Nancy wrote at 2013-11-27 18:58:41
I'm 48year old and I loss my mother 3 months ago My 4 siblings and I celebrated our parents 52 Wedding Annivesary my parent were sooo happy we had over 150 guest ...the following month my mother was not feeling well she had a pain in her stomach and on her size.Dr thought she had kidney stones but she was diagnose with Metasis.My mother was constantly praising God at the hospital she said i'm ready for what ever happened.She has been our ROCK she was our mentor counselor best friend our sister..THe only thing that keeping us moving forward is our Lord trust in him and he gives you the strength..Only through him everything is possible I know before we know it we will all be united and will laugh no more pain suffering..until than we all have mission here on earth and it is praise God !Jesus is coming soon!!!