AboutAzure Expertise expertise: over 6000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks
Expert: Azure Date: 6/13/2008 Subject: older guy, turns out i am not the dating expert i had thought i was
Question Hi,
I met this tall, dark and handsome guy at one of nyc's best night clubs. the first night we were both pretty drunk and just ended up talking and making out. He texted me if I wanted to come out three days later (sunday) to this bar he was hanging out with his friends.It was great because we had just met, and he wasn't scared to show me to his friends. That day turned out to be a little date and we went back to his place and I slept over (no sex).
He is 29 and I am 20. He has pretty much every ideal quality girls look for in a guy. The looks, the manners, the perfect job, and the perfect salary. However, as his job is in I.banking, he seems to be very busy and very tired all the time. He is sweet as hell when we're together in person, but i know he thinks I'm really young. He has said it out loud as a joke that I'm such a baby, but I know that was half serious.
We hang out every 4-5 days due to his work etc and he's the one who usually let's me know when he's "done" with his stuff. We end up meeting around 11 most of the time, and stay up till 3-4 in the morning. Then we both have to get up at 8 in the morning.
Its the summer and I recently quit my internship so I'm scared, I'm turning into those needy people. We carry on intellectual and humorous conversations, but I can't help but to think, where is this going?
I don't expect a relationship out of this because after the summer,I'm out of town, back to school. However, I want intimacy and want this to be exclusive. He's too busy to be even meeting other women, but I really don't want to be involved if I will eventually fall for him and nothings going to happen. Its too early, and I usually get criticized by everyone around me, that I am a heartless bitch when it comes to guys, but I end up all sweet and cute and hard-1orking in front of this one. Should I back off? Or keep this as a hookup?
Any other suggestions?
Answer too much analysis over someone you just started seeing; no one can predict if you'll never see the guy again, marry him, or every possibility in between; if exclusivity is a requirement for having sex, even in casual dating, tell him; otherwise, this is no more or less than it currently is--someone you haven't known long that you date on occasion--stay in the present, enjoy it for what it is, make adjustments if/when necessary, don't worry about next week, next month, next year..
