Coping with Older/Younger Relationships/family & bf
Hi! I'm 16 years old and I've been dating an 18 year old for the past year and a half. My parents aren't too fond of the 2 year difference but I don't think it's a huge deal. Anyways, when I was 12 my parents divorced and everything from there has been really hard. 6 months after their divorce my dad's new girlfriend and her kids moved in with us. it was really hard for me because i'm a family person. Since then, my mom has been dating a majority of men, a lot of them being slimeballs. We never get a long which I guess is typical for a mother/daughter relationship. I used to have the best relationship with my dad until my stepmom moved in. She doesn't like me, so I'm never over there anymore because I feel extremely uncomfortable and my dad doesn't do a thing about it. When I first started dating my boyfriend, there was an instant connection. He made me feel extremely wanted and happy. He's had a hard life too, as his mom is slowly dying of lung cancer and his dad wants nothing to do with their family. We help eachother through everything and I know I could live without him, I'd be perfectly capable on my own, but i want to be with him for as long as it's meant to be. For about a year, he has had troubles with getting a job, and when he met my dad for the first time after a month of dating, it didn't go very smoothly. My dad was outraged he did not have a job and he told me he only wanted to date me for sex. Of course, being a teenage daughter i was mad, but i really liked this guy. Throughout our entire relationship we've been through so much shit, between my parents not letting me see him, and the only way to see eachother is him coming to visit me at work. We love eachother a lot, and he always comes to my moms house (and she adores him) and helps around the house and makes dinner with me. I feel very uncomfortable asking my dad if i can hang out with my boyfriend because i feel like he's extremely dissapointed in me and ashamed. He has never said one good thing about my relationship, only things like "have you and ___ broken up yet?" and when i reply with no his response is always "why not?" and it hurts me because i care about this person he constantly rips on. My boyfriend has a goob job now, 5 days a week from 9 to 5 and my dad replys with "hes probably cheating on u". me and my boyfriend are very faithful to eacother and always have been. we would do anything for eachother. he's a shy person and is very intimidated by my dad. who wouldnt be? Recently, a problem arose where my mom found alcohol in my room that was unopen. yes i drink.. a lot of teenagers my age do, which doesn't make it alright, but i don't do it that often. and i've told my mom i've drank before and she seemed to have no problem with it. but seeing as she actually saw the bottle in my room, she was furious. she called my dad and told him and when i got to his house that night. he assumed my boyfriend bought me the alochol, and made me break up with him over facebook. since then i've been devastated. i called my now "ex" boyfriend while my mom was at work and explained everything to which he responded "they're you're family. they'll always be there for you so do what you feel is right jess. i love you though. and i would wait through anything to be with you." i replied with ok and we hung up the phone. it hurts us both but at this stage i don't know what to do. I'm torn between my family and someone who only recently came into my life.. it sounds like an obvious choice but it sucks that i have to make it. i'm at a loss on what to do..
u don't need to really make a choice..you still have a mother, a father, a boyfriend; stay in touch with the guy as best you can, maybe figure out a way to get together on occasion; in the meantime, start focusing on getting YOUR life together; stop drinking, get an education, a job, figure out what you want to do with your life; unless your happy with your life, who you are, it's quite difficult to make any relationship work..