Coping with Older/Younger Relationships/Parental problems in relationship
QUESTION: Hi. I asked a question before about my bf who is 12 years older than me. So one day when we met, I bought us a dinner in a mall and forgot that I kept the receipt with me. My mother knew about this and asked me about this guy, who I told them is my suitor. She told me that I can find someone better than him who has never been married and has no kid. Soon, my dad also knew about it and told me that it was a good thing that I used my brain. I told him that after that we lost communication. But the thing is never really lost communication. I tried once but I really can't get over him. I really love him. Last Friday night, on our way home, he told me that he is seeing himself 5 yrs from now that we are happily married to each other. And I see myself that way too. But the thing is my parents have no idea that we are still seeing each other because I know for a fact that they would not like him because of our age differences plus he was once married plus he has a kid. I can't tell to any of our family members about it because he is still working on his annulment. And I am afraid that when I tell my parents about it, they will hate me or worst, they will separate us. Help me. I am crying, hoping that he was not married, that he has no kid and that we are of the same age group. I really love him but I don't want my parents to be mad at me. I love them both. Will it be better if I would just let the guy go? Though it would be very hard for us?
ANSWER: ages? how often do you see him?
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: he is 34, and I am 22. We see each other like 2x or 3x a week, when he is driving me home after office.
i don't know what the culture dictates down there, but here at 22 you're an adult and make your own decisions as to such matters, and even if family/friends disapprove, they need to respect your choices; to me, the age difference, child, are not a big deal; what's important is how he treats you, common values, and a generally healthy communication; so to me it's whether ior not you should just be honest about it; you have to weigh the consequences of being truthful as opposed to keeping it a secret; i don't know as to your culture what they can do to "punish" you; i'm assuming even if you tell them how you feel about him it won't change their minds; so, i wouldn't advocate giving him up, but you have to decide if at the moment just continuing as is would be best...